Shame and Vulnerability

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Shame and Vulnerability
3
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 10:12am
Hello everyone. Love here. I haven't posted in a while but have been lurking from time to time. I'm doing fairly well. Still miss xAP most days but have maintained NC. As much for him as me. Remember I'm M and he is S. I respect him enough that I want him to move on and find his own RL. I don't want to pick his healing scab (yes gross but gets the point across). And hubby and I are doing fantastic. Anyway...a friend at work realized that I was not myself lately and a little down (ya think ) and suggested I watch Brene Brown. Wow is all I can say. I was mesmerized by her. I usually have the attention span of a gnat but not this time.   They are fairly short, about 20 min each. Give them time. I found them most intriguing about half way through. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. The speaker, Brene Brown, was also recently on The Katie Show. I hope to watch that soon.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c   http://on.ted.com/Brown2012
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 11:58am
Great stuff. Her books are amazing too.

And her comedy timing :smileyhappy:

Yellow x

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 6:04pm
These were great! It really showed me something. I had NO IDEA not everyone throws themselves all into their relationships. I risk everything with my friends. I risk everything with my family. When xap came along, I threw myself into that working relationship too. So I wonder, if you're not a person who risks yourself with work relationships, how do you interpret someone who does? I think it must have been very attractive to xap and, because I just figured everyone did the same, I read connection where he was really risking nothing. Maybe I should have realized it before now but the whole vulnerability issue has given me a lot to think about.

I'm also thinking about my diminished capacity for compassion. This all seems to be connected. So this afternoon, my daughter and I were able to sit together while she did her homework (something that usually ends in raised voices and tears). I set out to fake it 'til I made it with compassion but discovered I just had to set out to be compassionate and there it was.

I'm feeling a little further along in my journey today and I'm loving how it keeps turning out to be about me and not what someone else did to me.