She called the W..i had to say this..
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| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 6:08pm |
I read all the nasty and hateful replies to LLL's post about her calling OM's W.
I am completely blown away by all the hurtful replies she got from most everyone on here!!!
I have gotten SO much support from everyone on here during and after my A and i CANNOT IMAGINE how i would have felt if i had been blasted the way she was.I can't imagine how she must be feeling now.So many times in A's boards like this are the only source of support for someone and she was shown a very cold and cruel shoulder.I don't in any way think EVERYONE should agree with what she did but i DO BELIEVE no one(and i do mean NO ONE) has the right to throw stones at her!!!!
Some of you made the comment"i would NEVER steep so low as to call the W)....Tell me WHY you would steep so low as to have an A,but NOT to call the wife???Where is the difference in that please tell me!!!Because you didn't want to "interfere" with his family???
PLEASE tell me that makes sense to someone on here cause it sure as HELL does NOT to me!!When you ALLOWED yourself to become involved with a MM/MW...you disrupted his family in every possible way.Yes,the blame is partly the MM/MW..BUT..it's partly yours too!And to sit here and say you NEVER ONCE thought of calling the W...BULLS**t!!When you become emotionally and mentally bonded in these A's you cant HELP but have it pass through your mind.You might not act on it but you have thought about it.She called her and told her the truth,something HE obviously wasn't man enough to do.She wnated out and thought this was her only option.Give her a break people....what would you have done without all the support you've been given on this board??You think about that!!!
I am so disgusted!

Solost27-
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I didn't read the post to LLL...but I have to agree with you. In my fit of rage and anger at MM, I wanted him to suffer and thought about disclosing him to his DW. But the thought came in and came out. I stopped myself though for selfish reasons b/c I don't want my DH to find out. Now...If I were SOW, I may have acted on the initial thought.
My T and I discussed this yesterday. Revenge is not mine. I would never tell his W b/c it would come back on me ten-fold and I am not willing to deal with the destruction this would cause. I do understand how it was possible for her to call the W. I do not stand in judgement of her.
Just my opinion.
SS
Thank you Sunshine!
I know it crosses your mind..some act on it some don't...She did thinking it was her only out.I might not agree with her decision either but i damn sure will NOT be so cold and harsh to her.Support means being there for someone thorugh good times and bad and obviously,A's are bad.Support does NOT mean calling someone "despicable" or saying "i really hate you right now"...WTF???
I wish Cali and Exterra were still here....THEY knew the meaning of support and HUMANITY!
And LLL,if you're reading this...PLEASE get back to me and i'll send you my email.Like i said above,i might not agree with your desicion to call the W either(each man for himself) but i WILL show your support and be a friend when you need one.Lord knows we've ALL needed one through our Affairs!
I can't judge or condemn any OW for calling the W b/c I once did the same.
According to his W, it turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to their marriage. His story is a little different but 4 (plus) years later, he's still married to her!
IMO, when a MM is pushed against that solid wall, majority of the time, he will run back to his W and kiss all the butt he needs to stay under the same roof!
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"The wife?" Ah, I see... The difference is in being happy one day to knock her down to "the wife" status, to ignore her laying there on the ground, to step over her prone body and the next day, when it suddenly all goes tits-up, THEN she's the one you want to get up off the ground and help you to police her husband's or even your own actions?!
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I can quite honestly say that the thought did not pass my mind. And since it didn't, I didn't have to struggle with weighing up the pro's and con's of using a married man's own wife as a tool for manipulation against him. I guess if I couldn't win fair & square, it just wasn't worth winning to me.
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If the motivation were all that pure & selfless and had it genuinely stemmed from a desire to protect MM's wife, then why in blue bloody blazes wasn't all this "truth" deemed important enough to mention to MM's wife BEFORE she started boinking MM?!
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She was hurting and wanted everyone else hurting right there along with her. It's twisted and selfish in the extreme, but it is wholly understandable once someone chooses to get caught up in the needs-meeting feeding-frenzy that is an affair.
Strength & peace,
Posie
if you put something out to a public message board...you will see all kinds of opinions. Style is another thing. It was a hot topic. I do think its very self serving to call the W. Period. How hateful or full of rant is just how someone posts because its anonymous or perhaps strong opinion.
Being hateful in a post...another thing.
The opinion is not different however.
Gotta take the good with the bad on the internet public board folks.
If it affected how she did anything regarding suicide or not...if you think messages on a board drove someone to it...it didn't.
I do however respect the opinions of those who thought it was harsh but definately do not feel the act of calling his W was justified...at..........all.
IMO