she ended it, im so depress :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
she ended it, im so depress :(
53
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 11:02am

hi everyone,

i been in so many boards( affair, affair supprt) and now my personal life has gone full circle, last nite OW called me to end our affair

she never gave me the exact reason but she told me she wants to let me go so i can move on with my life, she also told me she is giving the father of her daughter another chance

they live together in the same house, i work with her, im so devastated and depress, i called in sick from work today, i dont want to see her, i feel like i lost everything in my life

she is all i have, im so alone and lonely, my life is a mess, i dont know what to do anymore

pls help, i want the pain to go away, i need to let go of her, my heart still lings for her but i know it cant be, i dont know if she is telling me the truth about her reasons but i wont realy know, worst is i work with her , its already hard seeing her there at work but now that she ended it im realy not well anymore

Free, r u there ?, i cant do it anymore, im so tired of living my life

max

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 12:27pm
Max, I am so sorry. I do not know much of your situation but you sound so sad, I will try and read the archives to learn more of your story. It just made me so sad to read your post. I take it you are single? I am trying so hard to end mine. I am to the point where I have to ask myself if I am more sad with him or with out him. I have been in mine going on 5 years. I feel I am throwing away my life. I am single. In 5 years I have not even got a Valenitines day Card. I want more! I am so sorry for your pain!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 1:08pm

hi fool,

i come from the "my affair" board

i am single/divorce/no kids, i am having an affair with a co-worker, i known her for about 4-5 yrs and our relationship is about 1 yr 3 months , she is not married but has a daughter and she and the dad of her daughter live in the same house, daughter is 10 yrs old, dad is a good father to her daughter but they they have anything anymore

this weekennd she ended our affair

i just spoke to her about 10 minutes ago, i asked her why and she told me she has to do it for her daughter, she told me she does not want to explain anymore, she said she did not do it for me , or for her or for the father of her daughter but she did it for her daughter

i guess i cannot compete with her daughter, i just dont know what to do anymore, how can i compete with her love for her daughter, she told me she cares for me but she cares for her daughter also and she is her priority

i feel so helpless now, i work woth her, she told me she is leaving and looking for another job and that she will have no more contact with me when that time comes

i feel like the sky is falling down on me

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 2:02pm

Max,

Take a V8!!! relax for a few minutes. From the posts, you were together for 3 months? Have you thought about the fact that if she is returning to her "boyfriend" or what ever he is... that it probably will NOT last.... One question, why aren't they married? (if he is all that)...

Take a few days to gather yourself, go out with a friend or a family member and talk about it. The depression will NOT last. If you are really feeling bad. contact your Dr and ask for an immediate appointment.

I wish you a cold beer and peace!

Murf

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 2:42pm

hi murf,

we were together for about 15 months, they are not married, they have live under the same roof for about 2 yrs now, they live together because of their daughter

she told me she is not returning for him but for her daughter, meaning she does not want to continue having an affair/relationship with me anymore, she said she is tired of it or she cannot handle the stress anymore

i miss her so much, its driving me crazy, i realy dont know what her real reason were for ending it but as far as i know its becasue of her daughter, she does not want to leave and move on coz this will displace the current situation with her daughter, she andn her daughter live in the same house with the father of her daughter, that is what the dynamics of their relationship is, she does not loive him anymore according to her but she loves her daugther and her daughter loves her dad, i guess she is staying for her daughter

yes, i was on depression meds before, now i stopped, i dont like the meds at all although it helps, i feel like the whole world is coming down on me, its very hard and i am having a hard time coping, i know in time it will heal, i invested so much on this realtionship and i feel like i am a fool for falling in love with her, i know it is a uphill climb and no assurance at all and now i am paying a high emotional price, worst is i work in the same company with her, she told me she is leaving soon as she finds another job

ahh, im so sad and lonely, i hope this will go away now, i feel like im so immanture and cannot problems in life , im 39 yrs old and a succesful engr, it is also affecting my work

thanks for your advice, i just want someone to talk to right now
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 3:53pm

hi fooled2much,

i called her again for the second time, she said that she made up her mind already and that she is doing this for her daughter

i told her she is doing the right thing, i rather have me hurt than her or her daughter

i dont know what to say anymore

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 4:28pm
I sent you an email and you know gave you my email address email me anytime. I know it is very painful especially being single it is lonely, I too am single and it hurts bad!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 5:51pm

hi fool,

where did u send the email, i did not get it, thanks anyways

max

fil_d90@yahoo.com - this is my email

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 10:03pm

thanks for your thoughts, im feel like im in a dark place, i hate being alone literally, its so cold and lonely

i want to just sleep and not have a headache

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 10:29pm

Max,
I am so very sorry that you are in so much pain. I too am single and have been there. It is very lonely and depressing. I was in my A for almost 2 yrs. I finally decided to end things, although we had been on and off again for many reasons, him always breaking it off for awhile because of his children. So I do know how that feels too.

I do wonder one thing though. Again, I am biased because I have heard the same thing from my A partner about his kids...what exactly is she doing for her daughter really? Showing her what a life is like when mommy and daddy don't love each other and stay together simply for "the kid's sake"? I don't pretend to understand that. The only thing I understand is that they are not showing their daughter what it is like for mommy and daddy to be truly in a loving relationship. She is learning from them, learning the foundation for relationships. She may just grow up learning that it is ok for mom and dad to not love each other, that it is ok to stay in a mediocre relationship, it is ok to stay when you are not happy and she may just repeat the pattern in her relationships. I for one, would not want to enstill that onto my child.

My heart goes out to you Max. Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 1:56am

hi unhappy_sad,

i also ask myself and her about her intentions in staying, a lot of married folks will stay for the kids, i dont know realy what her true reasons are but it is her choice, i cannot force her , only her can do it and i hope she will realize the good and bad of it

im so lonely and sad, its realy hard, tomorrow i will have to go to work and i will see her there, i will try to be strong and avoid her as much as possible, the people on this board are realy helpful

thanks,

max

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