she ended it, im so depress :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
she ended it, im so depress :(
53
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 11:02am

hi everyone,

i been in so many boards( affair, affair supprt) and now my personal life has gone full circle, last nite OW called me to end our affair

she never gave me the exact reason but she told me she wants to let me go so i can move on with my life, she also told me she is giving the father of her daughter another chance

they live together in the same house, i work with her, im so devastated and depress, i called in sick from work today, i dont want to see her, i feel like i lost everything in my life

she is all i have, im so alone and lonely, my life is a mess, i dont know what to do anymore

pls help, i want the pain to go away, i need to let go of her, my heart still lings for her but i know it cant be, i dont know if she is telling me the truth about her reasons but i wont realy know, worst is i work with her , its already hard seeing her there at work but now that she ended it im realy not well anymore

Free, r u there ?, i cant do it anymore, im so tired of living my life

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:32pm

hi candy,

thanks for your advice, im gonna go back to work tomorrow, i will just avoid seeing her and not talk to her anymore

it seems like staying home seem to be worst, im just afraid of how i will feel wheni see her, i cant even do stuff at my house, i live by myself so its hard, i turn on the TV and i watch it all day, its my only companion, my friends have been telling me that my relationship with OW was not heading or going to make me happy , i guess i was blind , we had some breakups before and we would go back again but this time i know she means it

my friends are actually tired of me for being so hard headed and not seeing the light so to speak, now i think i see the light, i hope

i realy want to end it, i just need to figure out how to go about it, its so hard shen u know the person for a long time, i feel like im dependent on her for my emotional needs most of all

i could not find anything to tell myself to make me feel better, do u have any suggestions on how to mentally set up my mind to get her off it

thanks,
max

ps, this board is a godsend and all the folks here are wonderful and i am so thankful u are all here to help, ill go crazy without this board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:57pm
hi max,
i really don't know how you can take your mind off her, because no matter what anyone says you will be thinking of her for some time to come, all i can say is as the days go bye, it will get better, then one day you will not think of this person anymore, at least in my case that's what happenened. it took me at least a good 6 months not to think about this person, and a good year until i was finally over him! right now you will not feel like seeing anyone eles, but their will be a day that comes that you will feel like going out with someone eles, and you will look back at this and think why did i waste so more time on this person!
good luck candy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 10:36pm

Hey Max,
You asked for some words to help you thru this and get in the right mindset. First of all, I think we all go thru a period of grieving, so let yourself grieve for awhile. Grieve for the loss of this person you cared so much about.

I don't think you should let her control your feelings though. You are in control of your emotions. She can't make you feel sad, happy, etc. You allow yourself to feel these things. Stay in control of your emotions. If you don't want to sit around and cry all day, then don't. Wake up and say, hey, I'm not going to feel sad today. I want to feel happy. Say to yourself, I'm not going to let this situation keep me down. I'm not going to let it scare me away from work. Tell yourself that you are strong enough to handle this and that you are in control of your feelings, not her. If you see her, stay focused. If you don't want to fall apart when you see her, then don't. I know sometimes it is easier said than done, I am just trying to make you see that you really are in control of how you feel. Like I said before, I felt like crying all the time. Sometimes I did that, but it never made me feel any better. When I felt like crying, instead I would go out and be around people and try and feel happy and not fall apart.

Think of this as a door opening, not a door closing. Now you are free to find someone to love that is free and willing to love you back.

Stay strong tomorrow at work!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 11:19pm

hi candy and u_s,

thanks for the advice, i know its all up to me, i just cooked and ate dinner, im so full and it feels good, yes, i will not let her make me feel sad and miserable anymore

i guess im grieving and it sucks, ill try to be strong tomorrow

im just watching americn idol right now, i dont want to cry anymore, i think im out of tears, im just afraid of being alone, right now it how i feel

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 11:26pm

At least you cooked, for awhile I didn't feel like even doing that!

I'm single too, so I know how bad it sucks to be at home alone.

Don't feel that you are alone though, as you can see from these boards, you are not!

Take care. I'm off to bed now.
Good luck tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 10:36am

im heading to work in about an hour, i did sleep longer last nite about maybe 5 hrs, ok now im getting anxious but im going to work

my mouth is dry and i feel like my stomach is twisting, im very anxious but i wont let her put me down anymore so im going to work

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 10:49am

Hey Max,

Hang in there, your going to be fine and keep telling yourself that. Life is too short to let our heartbreak take over. In the end, everything always turns out for the best. Whether it's ending up with her or not, time will tell, you can't control that right now. But handle those things that you CAN control, your job, your friendships, your life in general. Get out there, meet people, pick up some hobbies.

We're here for you. I'm S and in much pain too, but I know a better day will come, maybe not tomorrow or the next but it will come!!

Stay strong!! =)

Doves

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 5:27pm

hi all,

im at work, came in to work and found out that she took the day off today, i dont know why, maybe its Chineses New year

anyways, i made a mistake of calling her at home, i knew her ex was working, so i called and she answered but hanged up the phone, again i made a mistake of calling her back and her ex answered the phone and of course i hanged up

i felt so stupid, i just want to talk to her one more time, i sent her an email asking and begging her ( yes begging her) to pls talk to me face to face

i dont know what happened to her after i called, im sure his ex will be pissed at her, i did not mean to do it at all, i thought he was at work, i guess not and she and him are there spending time together, maybe she was telling me the truth that she is giving her ex another chance

i feel like a fool and im so sorry and felt bad that i called her again, i did not even know why i called her, it was just instinct that i dialed her home number, i even seldom call there, im sure she will never talk to me again

my stomach is nauseated and i dont feel so good at work right now, i wonder what will happen to me tomorrow

max

in in such despair and pain, im not sure i can handle all of this

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 8:11pm

hi doves,

i cant do this anymore, im still at work ( pacific time) and my hands are sweaty, i am unable to eat much food during lunch, one of my co-workers mentioned that my mind was wandering ( no one knows at work of course about our A), i feel like im burning from the inside out, im nauseated and have a big headache all day

now my anxiety is prolonged since she is not here today and i called her at home but she hanged upon my and worst is i called back and her ex-h answered the phone , what an idiot i am, i feel so helpless, i want to take over my self and control it but i cannot

im literally in fear of what will happen to me tomorrow when i see her, im sure she wont speak to me anymore, i dont know what to do, all i want is to speak to her one more time, she sent me a text message saying she cant see me anymore and that it is over, i felt that this is not what i deserved

im so miserable, gals/guys, i dont know what to do, my hands are shaking at work and i cant control it, im sweating and my mouth is dry, this is utterly insane of me, this is the first time i felt like this, what a life

help me , i want to help myself, i want all the pain to stop... pls

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 2:26am

its about 11:30 pm and i am wide awake and cruising the board, im so anxious about going to work tomorrow, i dont know what to do when i see her at work

until then i wont know how to deal with it, im telling myself to be ok and ignore her

but im also dying to talk to her and just see her bit i know its not a good idea to do it

max