Should I call.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Should I call.......
5
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 10:02am
It's been 21 days of NC. XMM called me Friday night and left me a voice message inviting me to a birthday party. I didn't answer the phone when he called me again on Saturday afternoon to invite me to this party. I had no interest in going to the party or communicating with him. Should I give him an explanation for not coming to the party? Or, should I just let it die? I kinda feel obligated to tell him why I didn't come, I don't know why I feel obligated. More out of common courtesy I think.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 10:05am
You don't owe him any explaination what-so-ever. Say it with me," NO CONTACT,NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT......!"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:34pm
Dear Secret: I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago so I can share how I handled it. OMM sent me a gift through the mail and I thought, like you, it was only common courtesy to respond. But a friend pointed out that it was quite manipulative on OMM's part: he figured sending me a gift would make me contact him and then he'd have another chance to plead his case. I never did respond with a thank you, just let it die. . .. If you really want to keep NC, I suggest you do the same. You won't hurt his feelings, and JMHO, how do you know he's really inviting you to a birthday party and you're not being set up? How do you know there will be other guests there and that you're not the guest of honor? Just something to think about . . .

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 1:25pm
Thanks for your suggestion. Another way for me to look at it is......I'm really trying to send the message to ex-mm that you can't just treat me any kinda way, or tell me anything and expect me to belive it.

AND!!!! if I did hurt his feeling (which I doubt that I did) how many times has he hurt mine, telling me lie after lie. Maybe, just maybe he knows how it feels to be stood up with no word why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:25pm
Hey SL,

No Explanations are required!

Women are conditioned from birth to be kind, curtious, polite, accomodating, considerate, thoughtful and forgiving (too name a few).

You are doing the right thing, don't let guilt get in your way. Perhaps if women played a little tougher we would be in more powerful postions today.

I am currently giving my MM the cold shoulder because I am sick of his judgmental attitude. He called & left a message on my cell phone on Friday (something he has only done once before in the past 6 months). I have not returned his call nor do I plan to and it feels great. I feel powerful! I refuse to take anymore crap from him. If I want a boatload of crap I can get that at home.

HFL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:05pm


NO LET IT DIE, or your going to end up back at square one.