showed up at his house

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
showed up at his house
6
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 5:20pm
well i risked it and showed up at his house. evrything went well. we were able to talk

and he told me he wasnt mad he just wanted to cool it down.

i knew what we had would have to end one day. and even if i hurt that i wont

be able to have him like i use to, i was able to hug him feel him and kiss him one

last time. it was a chance i didnt think i would get again but i did.

so im hanging on to that thought to get me through.

i feel soo amazing when im with him. but i know i cant have him as he is getting married to someone else.

a part of me is sad because it had to end, but the other is at

peace that i was able to see him again.

he said he would im me again and call me again. i imagine before

the wedding.

i do feel i feel in love with him. getting out of love is what

will be hard. harder will be falling into love again with h.

a part of me wants to be alone to heal, but then i think of the

kids and what i would be putting them through.

i turn to this board for words of advise and to vent my feelings. i thank you for

your responses.

today was amazing...

i need to be strong now and move forward. atleast i wont have to be

looking for him to im because i know he wont.

not knowing if i want to be alone or stay with h is what is hard to

figure out.

love to hear from you.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 5:31pm
Hey Upside Down...

HUGS for you for being so strong. I've been wondering what happened at the party this weekend!

You are very lucky that you got a chance to say goodbye. I know you are hurting because he is getting married and you are unsure about how to heal with H. That has to be rough, but you are so strong and YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS!!!! Let him move on, and allow yourself the time and space you need to heal. You don't want to run away from your responsibilities I know, but try to at least find an hour or so a day that you can be alone and do something to help you heal. I'm in the same boat with H, I WANT to be happy with him, just not quite there yet. I'm here for you whenever you need. You are very brave to have done what you did. I really hope that it helped you get closure. It's really important now to move on and not contact him, delete him from your IM (yes, he can still IM you but you at least won't have to see his name on your list and be tempted or wonder why he isn't IMing) and steer clear so you can give your marriage a fair shot. Nothing will compare to the rush and excitement of the A, so it's not fair to your H and kids to hold onto that. It's time to focus on healing your marriage and finding out what was missing that led you to OM in the first place. So proud of you, girl!

Love,

Lily

Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 6:46pm
USID4H

Your very lucky to get close this out in such a way as you did, now is the time to walk away from it and try to start seeing your husband through eyes that are not colored by another man, there may be more there then you remember and it may be better then you remember.

Real love and life is not about excitment and thrills, these will pass away in time regardless of who your with, real love is what keeps the family together.

I suggest that you move very slowly in making live altering decisions, once made going back may be impossable.

Best of luck

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 6:47pm
lily thanks for your kind words and thoughts.

the party went well. he was there with his girlfriend and i was there

with h. we talked socialy but that was it.

today i was able to get closure no matter how hard it is right now. realistically i now

we could never be since we are social friends and even our families know

each other from party events.

it was a wonderful experience and that is how i have to think about it.

its hard, but i promised him i would not im anymore. so i am

going to keep my promise until he ims or calls.

thanks again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 6:51pm
free thanks for your reply. i always looking forward to your words for guidance.

i know i have to move on and i will try to do that.

i know its going to be hard, but having today as closure and

knowing that he still cares about me although we cant be together will

help.

i will reread your post and turn to it everytime i feel blue.

again thanks for your words of wisdom. they really do help me through....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 4:53pm
Your post hit me like a ton of bricks. I said good by to my MM 2 days before his wedding.

Be prepared. A week later, he called. It was in MAy. Hasn't stopped. These MEN SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MARRIED!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:56pm
jlt, i cant stop thinking about him. i wish it didnt have to end.

cant lie, i would love if he would still contact me after the wedding,

but my hopes are not high.

are you still in the a? are you married?

im married and have 2 children. i am not in love with my husband.

all i do is think of om.

let me know.