sigh... back to MAS I guess...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
sigh... back to MAS I guess...
30
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 3:55pm

I messed up the 9 weeks NC, we made up Dec. 17th... I was the one who initated the NC and for 9 weeks I was incredibly miserable, as some of you know... I just was not ready for us to be done and neither was he... We discovered the NC was due to a mis-understanding - typical text taken wrong kinda thing... he was very hurt and told me I left him during a very stressful time of his life and I should have been more understanding when he had to break a "date"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 12:15pm

I am very sorry everyone for posting that.... I did not realize it could hurt people. I have one friend to confide in about all this and I wanted a few more opinions and I sure got them.

I hear everything you all are saying and I KNOW you are all so very right....

I will end this FOR MY KIDS...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 1:07pm

((Devious))

I am sorry there were some harsh responses to your post and I will apologize for the poster that you are referring to, but please do not leave this board for good. Lurking is fine, but as you go through your healing I believe it's very important for you to

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 4:53pm

(((((Devious))))

As soon as I read this...I HAD TO REPLY IMMEDIATELY!!! PLEASE!!!! DONT GO AWAY. DONT GO ANYWHERE ELSE. WELL BE HERE FOR YOU - TOTAL SUPPORT. THIS Board and the people who respond and support - while strong / truthful / committed and helpful - we can sometimes be presumptive - but at least FORGIVING.

So I can say that If In my pointing out some tough stuff - I IN NO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY WANT TO ALIENATE YOU AT ALL - AND WILL EMBRACE YOU WITH FULL OPEN ARMS, AND Do everything within my power - to support you if you're ending.

It can be sooo difficult to do it alone. And if you were here once before - and came back - just ERASE the history out of your head and come back fresh. WE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TRIED AND FAILED more than once! I dont know any of us - who are all here offering support who quit and did it the first time.

I didnt realize you ARE ENDING IT!!! IF YOU ARE: WOMAN!!! STAY HERE!!!!! I haven't seen ANYONE attacked - thankfully - and if you read ANY OF MY POSTS...man did I put myself out there for it! TOUGH LOVE...YES. TRUTH THAT HURTS...YES. But IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT ENDING....DEVIOUS...this is the place to get it done!!!

When I first started posting - I had a person on the board think I was some professional writer - a fake - bamboozling everyone here for my own gain. AFTER the mental numbers we've all done on ourselves and experienced during the ADDICTIVE AFFAIR .....You can bet...my initial reaction was to run away with tail between my legs - saying THIS BOARD ISNT FOR ME! and then there was the Xap moment coming on the board and pretending to be a "confused dad" who in his post...to me...said "I miss YOU"....again...WANTED TO RUN AWAY....Oh man...Devious...Ive got about 3 other examples of my knee jerk reaction to just RUN AWAY FROM HERE. But here it is....3 months later...and Ive taken the ups with the downs....ignored what I needed to -

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sun, 01-09-2011 - 5:44pm

Hi DD,

Sorry that you are having hard times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 2:36am

Hey Iddy, thanks for saying all the right things and covering for me until I could get here, but I do need to

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 11:29am

Thank you very much Foggy and everyone else : )

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 11:49am

devious_d,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 12:07pm

DD,

I just want to say how happy I am for your own sake that you didn't let this "bobble" take you all the way down. I had a real stumbling block at about 8 or 9 weeks and I broke NC by sending xAP a text. I was mortified at my own failure as soon as I hit the send button. Turned off my phone immediately and was scared crapless to turn it on the next morning for fear he may have responded. Thankfully, he did not. I blocked again with more resolve than ever that I was going to get past this. December was a HUGE trigger month for me, also.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 2:25pm

False alarm.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 2:37pm

Dear DD,

I am filled with relief that you have stayed the course, trusted this community and stayed. I must say, many things here can be a matter of perspective and perception.

As Mom wrote, I was very harsh with her when she first posted - it was actually the most difficult exchanges I have personally ever moved through with another poster. I was deeply hurt by her words, and her by mine. We were coming from different perspectives and therefore had different perCEPTIONS of what her post meant, and what my post meant. We will always have a special connection because we both learned from that experience - and I will always have her back and be one of her biggest fans.

I have lately noticed myself becoming increasingly troubled by Married posters who are still in the Fog. I know that's my issue, that we are all here because we are hurting and need assistance in getting ourselves to better places. However, some days it is harder than others to be gentle & kind to those who are being honest about their struggles. I also wish for posters to be mindful that for those of us who are living radically different lives than we ever wanted because of DDays, both intended and unintended, "listening" to posters who still have "all that" can be very hard. The title of your post sounded like simple resignation ... like oh well, trying to end was too hard, guess i better just give up and go back to MAS.