Six questions to ask yourself before you break NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Six questions to ask yourself before you break NC
18
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 8:29pm

I received an email yesterday: "I assume your prolonged silence means you have found someone else to service you". I didn't recognise the email address but I certainly recognised the content. That was always xAP's favourite fallback line when things weren't going his way - "You're pulling away from me because you've found someone else to have an A with".

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Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 8:44pm

I envy your strength.

All are very good questions because they have all the RIGHT answers.

You did good!

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 8:56pm

Oh wow Katniss, so needed to read that!

The core of who you are is not always obvious to everyone. But to believe what others may believe of you can cause you to deny yourself, the wonders, of who you really are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:10pm
Kat- Thank you for this post. I have not posted in awhile. I honestly have never been through anything so painful in my life. While I continue to remain N/C and have had my D-Day, the pain continues. I often get these kinds of messages, my xAP is a master at finding ways to contact me. And even though I don't answer and block again, it hurts every time. I don't post anymore because I do not feel myself healing at all. It's been 3 months and I am making no progress. So I hate to dampen the board, but I guess I just wonder if there is anyone else out there like me. Please, please don't give me lectures on things to do to make myself better, I am in counseling and trying all things, but the pain continues. If only I had known..... Daisyway3
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:14pm

RTMO, it took me a LOOOONG time to stop trying to explain myself to xAP and to realise that the ONLY people I have to justify my actions to

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:14pm

Kat-

Great post, and really timely (I guess it's always timely here, huh?!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:15pm
Thank you for sharing those questions. I have been struggling with the NC thing, even though it is not possible for me to contact him, I guess I keep thinking I wish he'd contact me somehow even though I doubt he will, and honestly after reflecting on those questions feel a greater sense of resolve in NC being for the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:28pm

Daisy my darling, I wonder if

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:41pm

Dee - your post made me burst into laughter right here at my desk. :smileyhappy: I wish you could read some of

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:55pm

Thanks RBM - whenever I'm having a weak day, I remember Iggy's lovely saying "we gather strength as we go".

I've been missing your posts and love to hear an update on how you're doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 10:00pm

Amodeim - it's hard to understand in the early days of ending, but NC is really the greatest gift our xAPs can give us. He is respecting your right to move on with your life free of the lies and deceipt and betrayal, and you should do the same for him.

I'm a little concerned to hear you write that you

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