Slight Setback - what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Slight Setback - what to do?
10
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 10:46pm

Today I was helping my daughter clean her room, on her bookshelf were a few scrapbooks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 11:07pm

Moving

Question to ask yourself is would your daughter chose the photos OR an intact family ... GET RID OF THEM.

" Seeing my H in so much pain should make me resent my A. Why can't I?"

I think you answered your own question ..." I only felt pleasure with him"

In a real world relationship this would not be the case you would get all the same ups and downs you get in a marriage ...Resentment would come naturally ;o)

I think you can measure the real commitment Xap had to you by the fact that he cut an ran once your husband snarled in his direction.

Realistically you might have left your husband for him but he would have found reason after reason not to leave his wife the VAST majority of these boys talk a very good fight but never really put up the divorce dooks and go 9 rounds with there wife.

Free




Edited 6/13/2010 11:08 pm ET by mfreenow
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 11:11pm
Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 7:01am

I would have to disagree with mfree in that I don't think you should throw out the photo. It is your daughter's birthday party!


I am not a believer

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 7:35am

Moving~


I agree with alwayst. birthday party! > but I am assuming your daughter doesn't know anything.

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 4:42pm

Moving,


Though Alwayst2 is correct about it being about us, I have to agree with mfreenow, THROW AWAY THE PHOTOS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 5:51pm
Amen to getting rid of the photo!! You need NO reminders! What helped me was to get rid of any and all reminders. I don't even look in the direction of where he works so that I don't accidentally catch a glimpse of him in person. I deactivated my facebook so I don't have to hear about him or see him. It's just not worth it to put my healing in jeopardy. I'm sure you have many more photos of your daughter and her different birthdays. She would much rather have YOU....physically, emotionally and spiritually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 6:37pm

For a M couple that has a D-day and chose to rebuild, there are three forms of healing that occur:

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 10:37pm

Tomorrow I'm going to "redo" the scrapbook as suggested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 1:31am

Yes I can understand how seeing the pic again and even the cutting out of xAP is not going to be an easy exercise by any means. However, what about before you open the scrapbook tomorrow writing down what this symbolizes to you.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 9:58pm
I love the symbolism idea - and the mantra to go along with it.