Slowly but surely

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Slowly but surely
4
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 6:22pm
I have been lurking here for several weeks and I have gotten so much stronger from reading your posts, I want to thank you all! You are all awesome! Don't underestimate yourselves, by going through this you can grow so much and can be a better person. You can have empathy towards others and be slow to judge, quick to help.
My story sounds pretty similar to all of yours. 2 yrs with mm, we worked together. The whole time he warned me how it would be. He had done this before, swore he would never do it again yet did with me but I don't blame him I wanted it too. We tried to stop many times but couldn't.
I took a new job and moved my family to a new area 6 months ago but kept talking to xmm thinking we could still be friends. A few weeks ago we talked seriously of our families and what we believed in and how it had to stop and then 2 weeks ago his brothers marriage broke up. (an affair) He called and said, "say goodbye," so I did, and after 2 weeks of nc I feel so much happier!
I went through being so sad and crying over everything and thinking I couldn't make it, to having a raging fit at a neighbor over something stupid this weekend, to finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even want him to call, what would I say? And guess who was there for me the whole time? My H I told him as much as I could about the situation without letting him know. I told him I couldn't be friends with my xmm anymore because it was starting to be more then friends. I think he knows but I will never tell him. He dosen't deserve that. He has started trying so much harder even went to the doctors to see about his problems.
I wanted to encourage you guys to stay with it. There is hope and it is starting to feel good like the sun after a long cold winter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
In reply to: jstmekc
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:49pm

~jstmekc~


How do you spell relief? "Ba-bye" :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
In reply to: jstmekc
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:24pm
He was a toad and my husband far from Prince Charming but then I am not actually the innocent helpless Princess waiting for my rescue. XMM actually told me he was a toad and it worked surprisingly well. He told me how bad he was, so no matter what happened I felt he had been so honest it couldn't be true and I would make excuses for him. This isn't about him in fact he is really unimportant. It is all about me and I finally began to realize just how selfish I am. How much I took from my family and now how much I am determined to make it up to them. Still life is not easy we are all struggling.. ....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
In reply to: jstmekc
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 7:01am

It's like having to learn how to walk again. Baby steps...one foot in front of the other. After all, we were crawling through the sludge for however long thinking, "Hey this is different!" Yeah, right.


<<<It is all about me and I finally began to realize just how selfish I am.>>>


Not a very exciting lightbulb moment, but the place where we all need to start.


Good luck,

**Id**

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
In reply to: jstmekc
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 7:33am
Oh thank you for your story, it makes me feel so great. I'm actually glad about one thing, that is I'm not living a lie anymore, I have NO secrets from H or my family and that too me is a great feeling. I can be late for work and not be telling a lie. I can't lie I still Miss xmm but it's not been that long, I'm waiting to get to the point where you are at....it will be the BEST!!! Thanks for sharing, I needed to hear that today. :)
M~