SMACK ME TOO!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
SMACK ME TOO!!!
5
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:12am
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:18 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:50am
Sally,

What's done is done, once you hit the send button you couldn't take it back. What you can do is double your efforts to maintaine NC, if you get another email from him, DON'T read it, just delete it. You can do NC, we all can and it will make our futures better, eventually.

{HUGS}

DAF

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 10:58am
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:19 pm ET ET by sally289
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:22am
Truth is you replied and are now right back into his game again Sal...

When you BLOCK their email addy, you don't receive emails so you aren't looking or waiting for them, you aren't tortured and there is no email for which a reply is necessary.

You *DO* have a choice. You can choose to play junior school aged communication games, or you can choose to give him the internet version of the full body-swerve and block him entirely. One choice reclaims your power & self-esteem while the other gives it away - you know which is which.

Work out whether you're going NC because you truly want to end the affair -or- whether going NC is an attempt to manipulate the outcome. Truthfully, unless exMM is completely dim, (in which case why are you wasting your time, woman?!) the latter is doomed to failure.

ExMM has actually given you the highest possible insult:- You are unimportant, Sally, sure you're good enough for a shag & the odd email communication but the person who is IMPORTANT to me is my WIFE. And you are still sucking up to him?! What's with that?!

There's no lingering doubt, exMM has CHOSEN. So LET the pathetic wanker wallow in his chosen bed! Quit making his chosen bed a more pleasant & comfortable place to be by giving him the ego-stroke of replying in any way, shape or form to his emails! Every time you reply even with a cold or snotty response he thinks "Woot! I still got it, I own you, who's yer daddy?!"

People - even married ones - will treat you exactly how you permit them to treat you. Demand some respect, Sal. It's the very least you deserve.

Wishing you strength & peace,

Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:26am
I agree that not reading it and deleting it would KILL me. I guess that is when I know I don't want anything to do with him anymore...when I have that strength to just not care. I am getting irritated at myself because my cell phone isn't ringing and its making me mad. Augh. I wish I didn't care!!!!

Just wanted you to know that I am here for you too Sally. Just keep repeating it: I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. If nothing else a co-worker will be irritated enough at you to smack you and give you the confidence and mind clearing experience that you need. Oh well, I find humor works in all situations.

Good Luck!!

WE CAN DO THIS!

:) Frisco

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:28pm
Hey Sally! Sorry to hear you've been struggling a little bit. Don't be so hard on yourself about that "relapse" stuff and counting days of NC and everything. The important thing is that you learned something from having contact with XMM, even if it's just to dislike him even more! I have this real problem not returning XMM's text messages. It's like I'm afraid if I don't respond he'll think I'm dead or something else awful has happened. I guess I have a few too many manners - if someone contacts you, you promptly return the contact in the same format. Not in this case though, huh? My XMM left me a message last night, and I'm shoring up every ounce of resolve I have NOT to contact him in return. Keep that stick handy, though, I made need it before the week's out. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10