Small steps...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Small steps...
11
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 5:16am

Well I read a few great posts where some EASers have resisted temptation, or had an enlightened moment so I felt compelled to share my little 'win' this week. Its really little- so lower your expectations now guys :)

My exAP is European- I wont say which country though (just in case). His accent and European suaveness was abig trigger for my attraction to him and I associae all things from that country with him, Since our A started I have found it hard not to moon or go mushy when I heard anyone with that accent, or saw pictures from that country etc. Of course since the fog lifted and I ended the A- I have HATED anything to do with that country and even avoided my own snapshots etc from a holiday there pre-A days!

But this week I watched a movie from that country and was immersed in the subtitles. I got half way in before it even dawned on me that it was from exAP's homeland and the were speaking a language that exAP speaks. It sounds like a small thing but it made me sooooo happy!

Isnt it pathetic that you have to sink so low before a glimmer of the top of the gutter is enough to make you smile :) But I am laying in the gutter, looking up, and step by step Im getting out :)

There- that was my small step....

Iggy x

You are what you consistently do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 6:18am
Huge step Iggy - Never trivialize your own personal achievements! It's a huge yay moment for you - Congrats to you -

Much Love
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 8:36am
Well, I think this this is a HUGE win, honey. You are healing and with that will come total indifference someday. Thanks for sharing a very "BIG" step, IMHO.

((Hugs))
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 9:24am

That is a super-duper great share!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 10:00am
Iggy that was a great realization you had, good for you. I think it's a huge step and shows how much clearer you are becoming:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 10:06am
((IGGY))

DO NOT minimize this success! Seriously, that was a very very big trigger for you ... and look - you faced it and were A-OK! Better than that ... you experienced a growth spurt in your healing, and the rewards will be long lasting.

Much Love,

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 10:31am

Oh, Iggy!! This is a big achievement, one that you are rightfully proud of and so rightly deserve to be recognized for. So a big YAY for that moment of indifference!!!

BTW, you are NOT in the gutter, sweet lady. I believe this breakthrough just propelled you out of the gutter and onto the sidewalk. So you're still covered in a little gutter sludge....who cares? It'll rinse off. :smileyvery-happy:

Hugs,

~alwayst2

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 11:46am

Way to go Iggy!!

This is a very big "baby step".

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 11:16pm

Wow guys- you are so amazingly supportive! Thank you SO much.

Iggy x

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 12:45am
Hey Iggy,
I am late chiming in but I too want to say that I think this was a wonderful "small" step and one you should be very proud of....and know that I am too!

I know pulling yourself out of this was not easy...and I saw you struggle so much, and continue to get pulled back in over and over.

I am glad to see you back here and posting again...I hope that everything is going well and that you have finally gone completely NC. I remember you were great at counting for a while...then you just stopped, I am sure because of a rest. But I know you have been around long enough to know that you will get through all of this pain...one small step at a time!

much love to you my friend.
peace&light
Foggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 12:54am
Yay for you IGGY! I remember back when we were both on MAS and the awful struggle you had at the end to finally make the move to EAS. Well, you haven't gone back, and you were inspiration for me to make the move too. I'm so happy you are healing and moving forward, and every step should be celebrated no matter how small you might think it is. I'm celebrating with you my friend.

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