So ashamed
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So ashamed
| Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:39pm |
My xap initiated NC cold turkey 4 weeks ago. I was consumed by the "why's" and needing closure. I broke nc 2 days ago and got the answers I needed (guilt got the best of him and he didn't want to string me along but still cares for me and I believe him). I have moved on to being consumed by how ridiculous I'm sure I looked like to him for trying to continue the fantasy when he was preparing to go nc and clearly pulling away--at the time, my brain saw it, but my heart refused to accept it. Now that I have accepted it, I feel an urge to contact him again to explain I KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING--I'm not stupid although my actions contradict that. Will the embarrassment go away? Is it my brain trying to justify calling him again? It seems like once I get over one hurdle in this mess, I find myself up against a higher one to jump.
Edited 12/23/2009 2:42 pm ET by free_confused
Edited 12/23/2009 2:42 pm ET by free_confused

We are women and I think we will never be satisfied with any level of communication until we feel all our feelings are explained and understood.
Hi Free,
First of all, don't be ashamed.
Oh wow I have so btdt!!
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