So I told him it was over
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| Sun, 06-05-2005 - 10:56pm |
So I see I had 533 views to my court date post (wow!) so I will assume everyone knows he didn't get divorced. Later that night he called me and told me he had gone to the hospital that day and blah blah blah. I felt that if he had been sick all week and managed to go to work each day, he did not have to wait till Friday to go to the ER. He was very defensive in the conversation. He claims he was not lying and was sick and that he did have a court date scheduled that day. I felt that if it was true then he should have called me that morning asking me to come to the ER, knowing that I would never believe him or he would now, afraid of losing me bring me to his apartment which I ahve never seen or do something to show me he was being honest. He did nothing - except of course ask me to have lunch Sunday (today) or dinner on Tuesday to talk. Talk about what? What's there to talk about? Bottom line, he is still married and I don't even have proof of him being separated or proof that they are getting divorced. Even though it hurts like hell, I won't date a married man. For all I know, they may not be getting a divorce and what I have been doing is having an affair. So I told him it was over and to leave me alone. And he has. And it hurts alot. A LOT. If it was me, I would be desperate not to lose my love and would do anything to show I am telling the truth. Its not that hard - all he had to do is bring me to his apartment and tell people about me. Those are normal things people in relationships do. Its been two years. So he must be hiding something. So thats that. I guess I just wans't worth it to him. I was easy to lose. Easy come, easy go.
Ivy

Ivy
You have settled for second best from this guy long enough, it was time to show him the middle finger once and for all and make sure he knew you meant it.
You will recover from this, you will stop hurting in time and you will be happy again.
Now I have to ask: How do you know this apartment exists if you have never seen it ?
Any time your going to court your going to have docs indicating date and time, they post them often out side the court room so if he filed for divorce and had a court date he has docs he can produce to prove it easly.
Be well
Free
I have no proof that the apt exists. But, he lived near me and basically with me for 4 months back in fall 2003 and then moved back to this apt to save money and file for divorce. Since he still came and saw me, spent the night alot, we went on vacation, etc, I assumed that he has to have been separated all this time (ie that he didnt go back to her). But at this point - and no, he said he has no proof that the court hearig exists - I assume there must be some weird thing or arrangement going on between them. I asked him to tell me the truth but he sticks to his story. Its all very odd.
Ivy
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Don't go down that road, Ivy. The problem doesn't lie with YOU, it lies with him. He's obviously a pathological liar and has been living 2 lives for a long time. YOU didn't do anything wrong, except trust him and that he was telling you the truth.
It hurts to have invested 2 years in something that turned out not to be what you thought it was, but please don't take it personally. HE'S the problem, not you. He needs professional help, and you need a nice trustworthy relationship. Hopefully, you'll both get what you need.
Love you, Mo.