So many triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
So many triggers
11
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 9:29am

Two weeks ago my trigger was buying Easter candy for my kids.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 3:55pm

The triggers can be very hard, especially the first year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 4:30pm
BC, I've really struggled with triggers too. Three things that have helped me are to BE PREPARED by making plans to be the person I want to be when the trigger day rolls around, to REPLACE OLD MEMORIES WITH NEW so that this time next year the trigger day will remind me of something healthy and strong, and to CELEBRATE my progress by getting real about how destructive and deceitful my behaviour was a year ago and recognising how far I've come.

Hugs and smiles

Katniss
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 5:05pm

Broken,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 8:03am

Thank you all for your encouragement and support, I really need it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 4:30pm
BC, you say "I'm spending far too much time looking back". That is a choice you are making and you can CHOOSE to look forward instead. You have control over your own thoughts. When we're in an A we get into the habit of allowing xAP to occupy every waking thought. When we end the A we have to break that habit. It's not easy but you can do it. Take back control of the space inside your head, refuse to let yourself be held hostage by thoughts of xAP, and evict those thoughts whenever they try to come into your mind. Initially it takes a lot of deliberate conscious effort to redirect your thinking in healthier ways, bust eventually it will become second nature. Trust me - if I can do it, anyone can!!

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 4:43pm

DL, I'm with you. Avoidance doesn't work for me. Forcing myself to listen to the song, or read the same book, or look at the photos of the hotel room (it's being used in nationwide advertising) helps harden my heart and sure up my resolve.

I keep reminding myself, over and over: The pain of ending it will not last forever. It will not last nearly as long as remaining in the A.

This pain is bad, but can you tell me it's AS bad? It will pass, as sure as night follows day, and you'll create new memories. You only get to do that by living in each moment - which is all any of us have anyway.

Arohanui - much love - from me. xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 11:30pm

Hi

Have you taken a stroll through the Healing Library?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 1:30am
Good luck, you are not alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 8:27am

Thank You Kat,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 05-09-2011 - 10:29am

You made me laugh, soon to be someone other than BC :)

You really sound like you know the score regarding what you need to do.


Pages