Ending an A is very hard. All you have to do is read the posts on here. The thing is, they do come to an end one way or another, no matter how much we wish things could have been different.
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This is his way of saying he is not going to get a D, he is not going to leave his M regardless of what kind of state it is in, and that he is cutting you free. Try to understand that it wasn't an easy decision for him, and that
I work with my Xmm too, and have for 21 years. Our A ended in 2004 and although the first couple of years was still a see-saw of emotions for me, I was able to finally disengage from him, his life, his blah, blah, blah, and go back to a professional environment. We don't hate one another, have forgiven each other, and now it's BAU (business as usual) around here. Considering that's it's been 6 years now since we ended, most of what occurred is just a distant memory. I have been able to separate any feelings associated with my A/AP from
Andy, hugs and support on your 2nd day of NC. The next week is going to be crucial for you so I hope that you will do all the reading you can while the board is down (read-only). Please feel free to contact people directly through their profiles, if you need support before the board comes back on Oct. 5. I am certainly available; don't hesitate to reach out.
Just wanted to say - feel free to email me if you'd like during the 'NC' from EAS over the next few days. I'm S as well and xAP was a MM. While I never had a bf, I did turn down potential relationships with available men in order to keep the A going. Big hugs to you on day 2 of NC, the first week was really hard for me. Please read as much as you can in the Healing Library over the next few days. Read, read read - it's what kept me sane and not feeling so alone. Big hugs to you! And again, feel free to drop me a line whenever you'd like :)
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
Dear Andy,
Ending an A is very hard. All you have to do is read the posts on here. The thing is, they do come to an end one way or another, no matter how much we wish things could have been different.
<>
This is his way of saying he is not going to get a D, he is not going to leave his M regardless of what kind of state it is in, and that he is cutting you free. Try to understand that it wasn't an easy decision for him, and that
~Iddy~
Andy,
I work with my Xmm too, and have for 21 years. Our A ended in 2004 and although the first couple of years was still a see-saw of emotions for me, I was able to finally disengage from him, his life, his blah, blah, blah, and go back to a professional environment. We don't hate one another, have forgiven each other, and now it's BAU (business as usual) around here. Considering that's it's been 6 years now since we ended, most of what occurred is just a distant memory. I have been able to separate any feelings associated with my A/AP from
~Iddy~
Andy,
hugs and support on your 2nd day of NC. The next week is going to be crucial for you so I hope that you will do all the reading you can while the board is down (read-only). Please feel free to contact people directly through their profiles, if you need support before the board comes back on Oct. 5. I am certainly available; don't hesitate to reach out.
Sending you loving vibes,
Dee
Hey Andy,
Just wanted to say - feel free to email me if you'd like during the 'NC' from EAS over the next few days. I'm S as well and xAP was a MM. While I never had a bf, I did turn down potential relationships with available men in order to keep the A going. Big hugs to you on day 2 of NC, the first week was really hard for me. Please read as much as you can in the Healing Library over the next few days. Read, read read - it's what kept me sane and not feeling so alone.
Big hugs to you! And again, feel free to drop me a line whenever you'd like :)
----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Walk n' Block. Total NC 08-13-10
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Thank you so much for reaching out and your kind words.