so sad today

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
so sad today
5
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 12:33pm

Well, the anger has subsided and now it's just sadness.  I'm waiting for him to come back, we've both done it before but this time seems pretty final.  The longest break we took was 9 months NC of any kind.  And then one day as I was walking through the grocery he calls me.  Just like that.  I said "you hurt me", he said "I know" and I was back in.   So why can't that happen again.   I promised myself I wouldn't send any msgs to him today.  Just for today.  I think I can do that. 

It just hurts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to:
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 1:24pm

Blondehigh

If you are hanging around waiting for him to reel you back in, your healing and recovery are impeded.  Because what I've seen with some who experienced NC for such and such a period of time...and had been doing that back and forth for some time...is that they harbored a wait-and-see attitude....never quite believing or accepting that it is totally over until such and such time had passed.  So, they wasted yet more such and such a time.  Life is too short.

It know that this is hard to hear, and I don't say it to be mean, but it's time to accept that it is over and start moving forward. 

Please keep reading until you start to get it.  IT being that what you are doing is wrong...just plain wrong and that it is time to get with the program of 'ending'. in your mind...so you can seek out your lessons and learn them.  It's all about you and why you need to escape real life, with a JAM who treats you so shabbily.  And you've been here long enough...and hopefully you've been reading...not just using it as a weigh station...to know this is an addiction, so gear up and prepare to do battle against it, woman!  :smileyhappy:

You do have some of your gear on...because you are not fishing...and that is a good thing.  I promise you that if you do keep reading, stay NC and use NC as a time of introspection...not just whiteknuckling it...with some time and distance things will begin to fall into place and you will arrive at your own conclusion that working this ending is what you really want to do.

((hugs))

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 1:47pm

I love how you are supporting each other.  This is how we stay on course and how we keep it...by reaching out to support others even when we are struggling...especially when we are struggling.  

You ladies rock!

group ((((hug))))

Clarity