So upset crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
So upset crying
14
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:26am
Out of nowhere I miss him so bad I'm having all these flashes of the good things I feel like I'm not going to make it how am I going to live w/o him how? Crying my eyes out over here that stupid bruno mars grenade song never really heard the words to that till today.....ugggg god help me today crumbs look better

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:30am
He just let me go he didnt even look to see where
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:43am
Looking ...

SNAP OUT OF IT. 22 years of your life. NOT ONE MORE DAY. NOT ONE MORE.

Pull in those emotions, and look to your rational brain for some guidance:

What is going on for you?

Why are you craving some escape from your real life?

You need to focus on you ... don't wander to wondering what the heck he did and why.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOUR worth IS NOT defined by the other person who engaged in the most awful and hurtful actions with you.

HE is NOT worth the thoughts you are entertaining.

HOW are you going to live without him? Well, you certainly weren't living WITH Him!

That was no life Looking. Was it really?

Did you really feel like you were living, or did you feel like you were dying a slow and painful, self-induced death?

I KNOW you are in pain. I remember that I once felt that pain Looking. BUT there is NO pain now. NO PAIN. I know you can't imagine it - so you just need to trust us more than you trust yourself.

((hugs))

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:46am

Hey LFH...walk this way sweetie.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 11:54am

Looking, breath your way through this. As a woman and human being, you are worth way more than crumbs. Do NOT short sell yourself.

I saw this quote today and I would like you to read it very carefully.

Life becomes real only when we begin to face and solve our own problems. Until then we only swim in circles in a large fantasy world which tends to make us very tired of living. Don't waste energy! Face life now! ...............Unknown

You have to ride out this wave of pain. It does subside a little each day, but you have to reinvest the energy into yourself. Busy yourself online by reading every article you can about self esteem, co-dependency or whatever you think your inner issues may be. Do not google articles about affairs right now. You need to clear your head a bit. Keep your focus on YOU and your possible issues rather than on the A. Keep your mind busy by looking for ways you can improve YOURSELF today.

Hugs, sweetie

~alwayst2

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:45pm

TU said it well... snap out of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:58pm

Heartache,

That is awesome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:59pm
Heart - I love this article! What a great layout for us to be able to see the difference.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 1:18pm

(((((HAPPY))))))

Hey - here's what I did EARLY ON....

Im a firm believer in THOUGHTS creating FEELINGS.

If you're crying - it's because of what you're thinking.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR THINKING.

YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU THINK.

CHOOSE TO THINK OF YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU....don't let ONE thought of him creep in. NOT ONE.

If you choose to take this advice....Here's how it helped me......for the first, second and third month...I was SO VULNERABLE to these $hit emotions....the romanticizing...the Wah wah wahs....(we probably all are) So...I AVOIDED thinking of ANYTHING HIM. Everytime I had a thought of him......I yelled in my own head "STOP. ME ME ME ME ME ME"

That switched my thinking back to MYSELF. Then I asked myself...."What do I need? What's going on with ME? What do I need to do to take care of myself? What am I crying out for? What's Missing IN ME?" That gave me so much fodder for thought that I then, began taking action for myself. I'd hug me...rock me...bath me...speak nurturingly to me...Tell me I love me, in the mirror...etc.

Only until about month 3 did I allow myself to grieve emotionally for the losses that I PERSONALLY was experiencing...the loss of dreams, illusions, desires...etc. But I think in the beginning...its just enough to get back to FOCUSING ON YOURSELF. (when we're obsessed and so crosswired to be in that toxic a...we think of them and it to the exclusion of ourselves) so taking the first 3 months to get back to you SOLELY...allows you to get on more stable ground. Then once youre firmly planted back in your life - allow those emotions to come in- get the cries out - because they wont see you vulnerable to running back - just to stop the pain.

Maybe this method doesnt work for everyone...but It did for me...and I was a HUGE HEAD CASE over that jam. I still believed he was "coming for me" as promised...well throughout my ending - so if I survived the EMO roller coaster with that fantasy alive and well - I'd say

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 1:30pm

do NOT focus on what "he" did.

Not now. How about you do that later?

Like...ALOT later.

right now...its about what YOU ARE DOING. WHO YOU ARE.

You aren't a "THING" happy. You werent dropped like trash, or set on a shelf to collect dust. You are not an OBJECT to be picked and put wherever anyone places you.

YOU HOLD YOUR OWN POWER. YOUR OWN MOVEMENT. YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, ACTIONS.

It's not about him anymore.

WERE ALL HERE TO REMIND YOU OF THIS, HONEY, BECAUSE YOU WERE LOST. AS WE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL WERE.

what YOU think...YOU give POWER to.

Im worried youre thinking this way, happy.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 2:40pm
Thanks guys I guess even though I chose this, I wanted this I was in fact dying a slow painful death over here not living maybe some where in there I thought he would show up anyway, I guess I thought he'd fight a little not that I did this so he would I absolutely did it for me cuz I want to live.... I wish there was an actually switch I could turn off cuz when I say remembering the good times that's laughable really....
I was getting to cocky thinking I was going to be different I was going to skip right over all the crying that's what I was going to do.....one of my bfs is a prescription pain killer addict I've been watching her behavior for years I understand addicts well I'm not different then her I want a pill take all this away.

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