somebody stop me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
somebody stop me!
5
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 5:56pm

Ok guys, i don't know whats wrong with me. Can't think straight, can't concentrate. I'm staring at my cellphone and my buddy list and Trying not to call OM!

He sent me a a song via e-mail today and since then I cant stop thinking about him and really want to speak to him. Someone please talk me out of it!

I felt like I was making real progress and now I feel like I'm moving backwards instead of forwards.

I cant call him, it will just start all of this all over again.

please help!!

m x.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 6:10pm

Wheres

I think you have two problems ONE you did not delete XOM e-mail SONG and have spent the day thinking about it and TWO you spent the day on a board that supports cheating, I know that on the whole most of the folks did give you good councile but you need more then good councile you needed to be told DELETE THE F45K THING NOW.

You said you want your marriage to work if you do put that phone down NOW close your IM NOW, leave the phone and the computer and go out for a walk, thats right leave the phone at home.

Free

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 6:13pm

Hiya Wheres,

Well, I've retired my NC stick as I mentioned elsewhere, so figure out what it is you want, hon. And why. Only then will you know which way to proceed.

You know what lays behind you, and know that the same lays ahead of you if you go back. Only you can choose which path you want to take.

Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 6:30pm

THANKYOU SO MUCH

THe moment has passed. That was the first time EVER that i've had the urge to call OM in desperation and the thought of that scares the SH** outta me!

I dont know what the hells wrong with me.

MeFree: Yet again you make me see sense. I know I have to delete that song. You are right.
I was sooo close to calling him. H is on his way home so I know I wont be tempted for the rest of the day.

And posie: are you sure you wanna put that NC stick into retirement? You seem different without it. Kind of thoughtful and calm... Hope your not going soft on us! LOL, but seriously, thanks for the support today. You helped.

Guess I shouldn't give up on giving up.

hugs, to the both of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 6:38pm

Your welcome says the Amazon Bi#ch from Hell (I am consideing a screen name change)

Adios

Free

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 8:36pm

Hiya Wheres,

<<>>

Oh quite certain LOL. DarthPosie has gone into retirement now and rests in peace right beside FrankenPosie. But far, far from soft...

I'm altogether in a more calm & peaceful place where I need only police my own actions. I know full well I'd not have listened to anyone else whilst in the grip of my own EMA so I'm not sure exactly why I presumed anyone might be able to "hear" me either.

When you're ready, you'll let go. Until then, ya won't. It really is that simple!

The complications are genuinely only what our own minds throw at us. All the what-if's and if-only's change absolutely nothing and are a waste of precious time, but that's really something we have to figure out for ourselves. No one can do that for you, hon.

No amount of NC stick wielding will keep you from doing whatever you want to do nor should it. Only when we actually absorb the information that WE are totally responsible for our OWN actions are we truly able to move forward rather than constantly looking back.

If you're not done yet, if you need it to hurt a little more or pine over emails/texts that don't come or ambivalent ones that do eventually come, if you need/want something else to prove beyond shadow of a doubt whether this is or isn't "love" (no matter how you choose to define "love") or even whether you do or don't stand a chance together, then you do just that.

You need no one's permission to live your life however you choose to do so. You do, however, need to accept that your happiness comes at the expense of at least one real live human being and work out why you think your happiness is more important than theirs. If there are children, then work out why you feel more entitled to happiness & security than they do.

If you can live with lies and lying and putting other peoples' happiness & security below yours then that's what you need to do, isn't it?

You can help it, you choose not to do so, therefore any consequences are entirely yours, Wheres. In a nutshell, there it is.

Be prepared, and I mean really honestly prepared, for when the brown stuff strikes the wind generating instrument. Figure out what you're going to say to whom, what effect it's going to have on you, your family, him, his family. Really think about this, Wheres.

Only you can decide whether it's worth the disruption, the pain, and the life time of trauma you risk causing all those people for your own physical and/or emotional safety net.

It's YOUR decision, Wheres.

Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie