Something interesting happened

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Something interesting happened
4
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 9:45pm
I haven't been around on this board in a while. Xmm and I are co-workers and have to maintain a professional relationship. Although we have very limited contact we are usually nice to each other. Lately he has been giving me the cold shoulder, so I cautiously asked him what was up.

So he mentions that he's been feeling a lot of raw emotions lately. I really was under the impression that he was able to just completely get over the whole thing and that I am the only one that was effected emotionally. So I was really surprised to hear that he really was affected a lot by it, too.

Not that I want him to feel really bad about the whole thing. I'm just glad I'm not the only one feeling it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 10:18pm
just be careful, sweetie. For me, this kind of interchange was the first step back into the affair. We once ended it for about 3 mos. and a conversation like this led back into regular contact - emails, phone calls, lunches & on back into the affair.

I'm sure you're past that slippery slope vulnerability but just remember how easy it was to get into the mess in the first place.

That aside, it is comforting to know you aren't the only one who grieved this loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 6:55pm
Uhm... heellllooooo?

LOL! I bet he IS feeling a lot of raw emotion. It's tough. Glad I read your post, though.. I know the xOW probably feels I'm giving her the cold shoulder, too. I really just want the best for her. I'm sure your xmm does, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 6:57pm
"I agree!" said the man who came running back to this board following some low-level flirtation with the xOW....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 8:16pm

Sounds like you're moving past the affair, including being empathetic WITHOUT emmeshment occuring.


I think if you continue to "stay your course", keep the contact to work-related words and actions you'll continue to do just fine.....


jmhoo,


cl-nre