Something really wierd just happened

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Something really wierd just happened
6
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:26pm
UGH!!!! I just logged off the 'net and went to check my messages and e-mails (I'm in my office) and there was an e-mail that just stopped my heart. Now OMM and I NEVER connected by e-mail so I would not expect to hear from him in that manner. But there was an e-mail and the sender's identity was my OMM's first initial and same last name. Granted, OMM has a very common last name. Fictitious name here, but say OMM's name was Bob Smith, the e-mail was from "B. Smith." Well, it turned out the e-mail was from one of the law clerks handling one of my cases and it wasn't OMM at all. But I'm still trying to process my initial reaction to seeing what I thought was his name in the sender column of my computer: I wanted to jump for freakin' joy. Sigh. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:34pm
Mo, dont take this the wrong way, but you made me laugh reading your post at your "I want to jump for freakin' joy"...it was the last thing I expected to hear you say. Ahhhh, its so nice to know that there are others out there that get that excited by these little things.

Amazing how our heart skips a beat at these little things.

Hope it didnt throw you off guard. Very weird though I agree. God playing w/ our minds and a bit huh??

xo!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:53pm
Sad to say but my heart would have definately been skipping beats in anticipation of opening that email. It has been a couple of months of NC yet I still find myself checking my phone expecting a text message from him one day. I know it is not going to be there but I still check it constantly out of habit. I do not know what I would even do if there was one from him.

Mo - I read post that you wrote either today or yesterday about your thoughts on xMM. Good looking, good sex, emotional satisfying, but not there intellectually. Same things ring true for my XMM. I know that we would not have worked out in reality but what is it about all of that that still makes me desire him so much???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:15pm
Yella, I wish I knew. I just posted today that my DH is a pretty good looking guy in his own right! It's funny, maybe because OMM looks the polar opposite of DH: DH is short, OMM is very tall. DH has a bulky, muscular build, OMM is talk and lean. DH has a goatee, spiky hair and a diamond earring, OMM is clean-cut, all-American looking. DH is very intellectual and witty, OMM was not too bright and blatantly funny. Maybe just the opposite-thing, who knows? My T told me one time that comparing OMM and DH was like winter and summer. When you're standing outside in the blazing sun on a summer day and its like 100 degrees and your hair is frizzy and your clothes are sticking to you, you wish it was cold. When you're inside during the tenth snow storm of the season and the temperature hasn't budged above 10 degrees in months, you're wishing for summer. It makes sense to me, at least where my 2 guys are concerned. Thanks for your response! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:20pm
Funny you should say that, Dipss, about God messing with my mind. I was thinking sort of the same thing, except that it was the "universe." I try not to ever attribute malicious crummy behavior to my higher power; I think/hope He's above that kind of thing (although I do picture my higher power to be male, so you never know...)

I've been very into this metaphysical theory of co-creation - that you manifest your own circumstances by sending energy, either negative or positive, to the object of your thoughts. Like sometimes I'll direct my thoughts toward someone or something in a very positive way, and soon enough I'm "receiving" things that have to do with that person. Like have you ever gotten a phone call from someone you were just thinking about???? That sort of thing. Anyhows, I was wondering if it was my own darned thinking that caused me to receive that e-mail under circumstances that made me think it could have been from OMM. You know????

I went to see Wayne Dyer at the Jacob Javits Center in NYC on Friday night, so I'm probably reading waaaaayyyyyyy to much into that darned e-mail. I'm just kind of falling apart before my own eyes today... Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:34pm
i do something even more stupid because i love that "freaking jump for joy" feeling. Once in a while, when i need that rush and i've received an email from xMM, i will read it--it usually disappoints me--but i will go back and bold it again--mark it unread--so i can get the surprise again and start over.

I mean nearly all of his emails last spring and summer were amazing. Once he emailed me 5 seperate emails one at a time. the first was a string of SSSSSSS. The second was a string of IIIIIIII. The 3rd was a string of Gs; the 4th was a string of Hs and the 5th was a string of exclaimation points--spelling out SIGH!!!!!!! He had just gotten back to his office when he sent that to me after we had spent some time alone at my house, while i was baking my son a birthday cake. When i got the messages, i wrote him back: I Love you, (name). He called me and told me my message had "taken his breath away." There were lots of wonderful doses of that during our email converations.

Then, after the A ended, he sent me one last fall that said: 'I miss you." and another that said: "I wish i could see you."

I don't get any of those types of emails anymore, but sometimes, i just pretend i might and bold his name again so i can only wish for the surprise.

Writing this is making me sad. Gotta go.

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:24pm
so i need to know. do you live in NY?