Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
OH you brought one to awareness!!! the...."every guy wants to DO ME!"....accusation. Where I played SMALL in collusion. BLECH! NOt anymore!!! I SHINE!!!!!
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
wow! I did NOT even think about this!!! YES YOU ARE OVER THE TOP!!! WOW! AND I ALLLLLLLLLLLLWAYYYYYYYYYYYS LOOK FORWARD TO YOU POSTING!!! Ima Farkin Retard! Im SO THANKFUL You called me OUT!!! to examine = think about it.. As I was writing and writing - ad nauseum - It finally hit me what was really going on.
I LOVE THAT YOU SAY : a SAFE place to grrrr and whoop and strip down naked & run around. especially the naked part. hahah because the risk I took to post something so awkward - and having you question me - took a layer of clothes off! It's like ISSUE STRIP POKER. Ahp, is it YOU again? Off with the TOP!
I feel much safer now - and the next time, I begin questioning myself...Im definitely going to question THAT!
This all reminds me of that quote about our fear not being that we're not good enough, but our fear is really of being TOO GREAT.
Happy Thanksgiving to you DeeULTA (mite) You are one ballsy Chick!!!
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
WE aren't too much Mom. That's not it AT all. When people do not have the capacities to meet our needs, instead of taking responsibility for that and owning that it is their own inadequacies, they deflect/transfer those feelings over to the other person and make it about the OTHER person being TOO much.
Kwim?
I know that because prior to xAP, I was adored for all the "too muchness" that was me, in fact I had never been accused of that prior to him. All of a sudden any strengths or great qualities I had ... that he DIDN'T have, were said to be too much.
Just like Newlife discovered - yes these feelings of inadequacy, fears of abandonment, of being "too much" they are often global feelings we have, that get magnified when we are in the affair, and we're left to wrestle with them (again) once the affair ends. Sometimes people just head into another affair, we are choosing instead to address these issues to ENSURE we are never in an affair again. Recognizing of course, that the conditions in the affair BREED the very feelings we are wishing to escape - those very fears get played out again in the affair. YUCK. TOXIC. SO DAMAGING.
It is awful because on the one hand you're left feeling like you weren't enough (good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, giving enough) and at the same time you are being told that you are "too much". That's why it is crazy-making.
Many of us heard these messages throughout our lives, and so we come to believe that it must actually therefore, be TRUE. It isn't true. It's just that there are that many INADEQUATE people in our lives, and sometimes those people are our parents.
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Well, E1..you've got that Jewish Mother guilt down :)
Newlife:
One needs to grow a thick skin around these here parts.
Granted, Clarity, you ARE the most obnoxious person on this board!
Im not jewish but the Jewish mother routine TOTALLY works with me!!
hahahha you had me LOL !!!
At this point, Im really glad I posted my unsurity, and didnt just go away , ASSuming things.
Luvin!!! hahahhahahahha
OH you brought one to awareness!!! the...."every guy wants to DO ME!"....accusation. Where I played SMALL in collusion. BLECH! NOt anymore!!! I SHINE!!!!!
Ima Farkin Retard! Im SO THANKFUL You called me OUT!!! to examine = think about it.. As I was writing and writing - ad nauseum - It finally hit me what was really going on.
I LOVE THAT YOU SAY : a SAFE place to grrrr and whoop and strip down naked & run around. especially the naked part. hahah because the risk I took to post something so awkward - and having you question me - took a layer of clothes off! It's like ISSUE STRIP POKER. Ahp, is it YOU again? Off with the TOP!
I feel much safer now - and the next time, I begin questioning myself...Im definitely going to question THAT!
This all reminds me of that quote about our fear not being that we're not good enough, but our fear is really of being TOO GREAT.
Happy Thanksgiving to you DeeULTA (mite) You are one ballsy Chick!!!
xo,
M
It is so weird that all of us here are "too much"...
Kwim?
I know that because prior to xAP, I was adored for all the "too muchness" that was me, in fact I had never been accused of that prior to him. All of a sudden any strengths or great qualities I had ... that he DIDN'T have, were said to be too much.
You know what TU?
Just like Newlife discovered - yes these feelings of inadequacy, fears of abandonment, of being "too much" they are often global feelings we have, that get magnified when we are in the affair, and we're left to wrestle with them (again) once the affair ends. Sometimes people just head into another affair, we are choosing instead to address these issues to ENSURE we are never in an affair again. Recognizing of course, that the conditions in the affair BREED the very feelings we are wishing to escape - those very fears get played out again in the affair. YUCK. TOXIC. SO DAMAGING.
It is awful because on the one hand you're left feeling like you weren't enough (good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, giving enough) and at the same time you are being told that you are "too much". That's why it is crazy-making.
Many of us heard these messages throughout our lives, and so we come to believe that it must actually therefore, be TRUE. It isn't true. It's just that there are that many INADEQUATE people in our lives, and sometimes those people are our parents.
With care,
TU.
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