sound like anyone you know?
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| Sun, 02-21-2010 - 4:16pm |
i was doing some searching on the topics of serial cheaters, and i found this. it's made bells ring for me--how about you??
Serial Cheaters - Narcissists
A typical reason for infidelity is that one spouse may be a narcissist who often becomes a serial cheater. The narcissist is most likely to have many affairs and will pursue anyone they can manipulate with their boundless words and actions.
Narcissists are self-absorbed and tend to be highly charming. They have a constant need for admiration. They view all events in terms of how the events impact them and them alone. They are master manipulators and feel an emotional high with each new conquest. Their behavior is often impulsive which can appear exciting. These individuals lack compassion unless it helps them achieve their goals. They are unwilling to see or consider anything from another person's viewpoint. They will continue the emotional control with a target until the relationship becomes too burdensome. They utilize no moral boundaries in their pursuit of admiration and physical activity from the opposite sex; frequently offering marriage, promises, baptism, children, etc. Literally - whatever the target needs to hear in order to close the deal is what the narcissist will say and do.
Their targets are usually married which heightens the feeling of conquest. They frequently have several affairs going on at once with no regard to the damage caused by their reckless pursuit of self-gratification.
Narcissists develop specialized talents such as crying on cue, elegantly deceiving without stumble, saying just the right things at just the right time, etc. all designed to aid in attaining their goal.
Their behavior is MORE THAN A LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM. It goes to the very core of the individual's personality and is a pervasive aspect of their lifestyle. This character flaw prevents them from keeping marriage vows and in the vast majority of cases narcissists will forever cheat on their spouse(s).
It is interesting to note that narcissists rarely divorce and will fight tooth and nail to remain married. This is believed to go along with the "need to be accepted by all" mentality that narcissists possess. As strong as their need is to conquer outside their marriage; they turn into weeping idiots if/when their spouse even suggests divorce.
this helps me because it helps me to believe that there is not something inherently wrong with me. he's got a problem. jeez.
lillie

Wow, that DOES sound like someone I know. The very person I'm pining for right now, in fact, who probably hasn't thought about me at all. Except maybe relief he got me out of his life so fast. I must have become a burden...once the fun of something new had ended. Onto the next one, for him, I guess....happy hunting for the next victim.
At least it won't be us again.
Thank you for sharing,
Misty
Day 12 and counting.