Stage 3: Anger!!!
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:49pm |
http://www.couplescompany.com/Features/Grief/
I've been re-reading this article posted by Id? I think? Anyway, I know that I am past the Stage 1:Denial phase. I do not think that xMM is coming back to me. Even though I still have thoughts that he may show up on my doorstep - I don't want him there anymore. I think he probably still thinks I'm his backup if she kicks him out again. I realize that I was at this Stage for VERY long time.
I am getting out of Stage2:Depression slowly. I went through this very very deeply. I was in this when I started posting here.
Actually, from how Stage3:Anger is described, I believe I AM there already. It says that you can feel depressed during Stage 3 also, but mainly I feel really mad at him. It says "Women on the other hand have difficulty with anger and its manifestation can take on characteristics that make it look like depression. Women tend to internalize anger or display it via passive-aggressive behavior like a compliment followed by an action of aggression." It also says "During the anger phase it is not unusual to find yourself flip-flopping between anger, depression and denial."
There are some of the things on there that I want to do to him, like the turning him into the IRS (not really, but ya know the feeling). I think this stage is where a lot of OW think of telling the W about the A. It's not REALLY about letting her know what she married, but more about getting back at him if he has been keeping her in the dark about it. Some OW may actually want to tell the W b/c they sincerely want to help her, but at the point I am at right now, I would just want to tell her to get back at him. No, I am not going to do it, but it's one of those fantasy things I've had lately that I won't act out. I do have the feeling they include there "You hope you are around the day someone breaks his/her heart so you can see him or her get what’s coming to him/her." Actually, most of the examples they put on there are how I feel right now.
So, it's good that I am at this stage now. I want to get to the Stage 4: Acceptance, but I know that with all the rest of them, it will take time.

fallon,
its good that u are going thru the stages, i am also, i was stuck in depression for the longest time and i refuse to accept it, i keep holding on to hope, i was hoping against hope i guess
now i kind of accepted it, now fully yet but i am working on it, i see improvements already, u have to move on, it hurts like hell but its better to hurt now than to hurt forever i guess
i actually let OW woman know how she hurt me and that felt good and made it for me, i feel of the cliff already, now i have to be happy
u can do it also Fallon, u are strong, i cant imagine working that close to OW
max
sleep tight