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| Tue, 12-14-2004 - 6:22pm |
I just read a great post on another thread and thought it would be great to share with the whole board.
I struggle with the "missing." I miss him, I miss that, I miss this...whatever. Then Unhappy Girl reminded me that instead of missing him, and reminiscing about him, I need find that woman I was before. THAT'S who I should be missing--ME.
Thanks UHG, I'm really reading your words!
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I am a strong girl and so are you. Keep telling yourselves that! I read this on another thread, you have to tell yourself it's over and when you realize that you will begin to heal beyond measure. A week ago I was the one flipping out, now a week later, I am finding my strength and who I was before I was with him. I had to go back and find that girl. Look back at yourselves and who you were before he came along. Did you like who you were? Find that girl within you, it's time you were happy again. I finally let go of it all last week and I have felt better than I have in over a year. Yes, I miss him terribly but I've found out a lot about him since we split up and I don't want that. I could go back and marry him right now if I wanted to, in fact that's why he's not speaking to me because I won't. His loss. We could have a great friendship, he's too immature to do that. If you guys are telling yourselves at all that he'll be back or that things will work out for you. You aren't going to be able to move on. Tell yourselves right now that you don't want what he has, you don't want to live like that and focus on your families and take good care of yourselves, pamper yourselves but tell yourself that it's over and done. That's what I had to do to get beyond this.
Find something that you don't like about him and run with that, I've found many since our split and am finding more each day. I don't want that kind of life. I lived in a miserable marriage for 16 yrs. why would I do that to myself again.
You guys are great girls who made a bad judgment. Garth Brooks has a song out and it's very fitting for how I feel and in fact I put it in his Christmas card to him. "I could have missed the pain but I would have had to miss the dance". Thanks for the dance! I learned to love again from xOM, I learned that I didn't have to be treated like a dog and that I do have a lot to offer someone. He was there to hold me up during the worst part of my life. He helped me thru it and here I am just fine without him. Okay, so things didn't work out for us and yes I miss him but I want to look back and say I've learned something and be able to remember some good things about him. I'll remember the good things later. Right now I don't want to remember anything. Broaden your horizons ladies. Look ahead to the future!

sc