starting again

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
starting again
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 2:09pm

So, here I am.  He said he was "done' on 8/1. After 13 years, he was done.  It wasn't the way I wanted it to end.  I begged and pleaded and fished relentlessly until he texted then called on 8/14. 

And you know what?  It wasn't worth it.  The conversation provided me with no resolution, no closure, nothing.  It was strictly for his benefit.  He could have gotten what he was after with a call to a 1-800 #, if you know what I mean.  And that was it.  Nothing since then.  Not a word.  But even better, nothing out of me.  I have not sent one msg, not one.  And for that I am grateful.  This feels right for today.  I feel clean and worth more than that.  I know there will be moments when I want to reach out to him but I'm going to try so hard not to.  My beautiful and blessed life means more to me than he does. 

Stay strong ladies! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to:
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 2:57pm

>My beautiful and blessed life means more to me than he does.<

Well there you you're talkin'!  Is that a sign of self-love creeping back in?   You bet it is!

And how will you try so hard not to reach out during a weak moment?  That's right!  You're going to come here and let us scratch it for you :smileyhappy:...that's not just trying...that is actually doing!  Or call a friend....anything else but reach out to that man.

Now you are Captain of your ship.  You are choosing to end it'll want to stay empowered by staying ended...because you've felt what rejection feels s* you don't want to open yourself up to that again.

Stay the course.