!!Starting to feel good!!
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!!Starting to feel good!!
| Sun, 01-17-2010 - 10:58am |
Wow, this has been such a journey and true eyeopener. I love you guys on this board and thank God for all of you.
I broke things off with xap the beginning of December. We tried the friends thing for about

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Caribu,
Wow have your words and situation hit home for me. I too have a dollar bill in my wallet from when we went to a movie together, I paid as well, and that was one of the dollars that he gave me to "cover his share". Im not going to spend that dollar today, Im going to rip it into shreds.
I too made him my hobby. All this time I have ignored my family, my home, myself, my H and my kids. Those times when I was supposed to be enjoying time with my family, I wasnt because my mind was a million miles away on him and where he and I were headed. The constant thinking was so draining.
I am still a work in progress and trying to navigate through this. I expect him to try to contact me this week to "determine on what level we will remain in eachothers lives" and I will keep searching this board for inspiration.
There was one message on this board "31 reasons to end your affair" that hit home for me. If I was in a good place in my life, would I choose to share it with him and date him, and that answer is NO! He has cheated on his wife twice before me, is immature, drinks too much and over indulges his kids. Its a day to day process but I am seeing things a tad more clear and like you, I am starting to feel good.
Thanks!!
GMLB
"I've gotten back into the hobbies I used to adore but gave up b/c he WAS my hobby. My mind is no longer consumed by what he's doing or who is he with or is he thinking of me. I still question sometimes but, I think to myself if u had these answers would it change anything? Of course not, he is still who he is (liar, cheat, user, manipulator)and I still dont want to be in an A ever again. "
Hi Caribu. I usually don't post here much, but just wanted to give you some encouragement. I think it is great you are taking up your hobbies. I force myself to immerse myself in my hobby again as well as taking up some reading - for information and pleasure. This has been the most helpful thing in coming to indifference... forcing myself even days I don't feel like it... it's been worth it!
I think we all still have those questions. It's normal - I have unanswered questions as well,
((Caribu)))
Girl, you sound great. I wondered where you had gone and just breathed a sigh of relief when I read your post. I'm so sorry you had to experience another setback but it sounds like this one has done the trick. It has zapped you out of La La Land for good. ;-) Truth be told, they do not change the color of their spots no matter how much time has gone by. They either call or txt after a few weeks because they are hoping their piece of cake has had a change of mind and
~Iddy~
Hey, caribou~
I'm very happy for you! Doesn't it feel good?! When the good times/days start to outweigh the bad times/days, you're doing well! I thought I would never be happy again,
Afternoon, caribu :)
Thanks for taking the time to post to show that over time, as detoxing starts to take place,
Hi Caribu,
I was wondering how you were doing as it has been a while since you posted.
It’s good that you realized that even a few brief conversations can cause more pain and hurt and discontinued it.
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We talk a lot about actions speaking louder than words. When we are willing to keep their secret and stay in contact with them when they sneak behind their SO’s back to call/text/email our actions say to them that we are willing to be their dirty little secret.
Your post is a very powerful reminder Caribu, of why we say you cannot be friends and must maintain NC as our actions could be interpreted by them as meaning we are interested in being back in the A.
Many times we emphasize that actions speak louder than words when we refer to xAP but they refer to us as well. We have to think what our actions are saying to them also.
You have a very powerful testimony Caribu! I’m so very happy to see you healing and moving further down the road of peace and serenity. It’s comforting to know that you “won’t leave the board” as you continue on your journey. Your posts have and will inspire others.
Much love and big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Cairbou,
We have both been on one hell of a adventure...trying to make it sound good ;)...well in some ways it has been. I have learned so much about me these past weeks. So happy to see you doing well and so happy you are still here. I just wanted to let you know that. We have been thru a lot but we are taking it on, taking responsibility and trying to move on and be our best selves along the way.
May these good days keep on or at the very least outweigh the bad ones more and more...
Iddy, Sienna, Blue_belle, Empowerment, Energy, Free, Getmylife, and Clarity, thank you all for your responses
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