Starting NC clock back to zero.
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|Sat, 08-25-2012 - 5:59am|
So I went four whole weeks without talking or texting, the longest time in the last two years! But tonight I finally gave in to the urge and send him a picture of the baby with the caption "MISS U!!!". He sent a text back saying "Thank u!!". So I guess even though it was just one single text I've got to start back at zero on NC. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my H actually talked to xAP on the phone and told him that if he wanted to know anything about the baby to talk to him. H said (and he's right) that xAP trying to get in touch with me now has nothing to do with caring about the baby, just wanting to get back in touch with me. And really me sending him a picture of the baby tonight also has nothing to do with the baby, but me just trying to keep in touch. I think one of the things that's making it so difficult for me (besides having a baby that looks like him!) is this job. I'm here all night with nothing to do but remember him. I've been looking for a new job. Hopefully if I find another job where I'll be busy and not reminded of him daily it will get easier on me.
Hurt Now Healing ( just noticed where computer has me down as Hurting Need Help, while I do still need help, I am now healing! )