starting no contact today...need support, i have tried and failed before

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2014
starting no contact today...need support, i have tried and failed before
29
Tue, 03-25-2014 - 4:53pm

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Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

Day 6...maybe even Day 7 now...depending upon where you are at :)  Kudo to you!

I'm glad you will not contact him.  There's no sense in it.  You're lucky you have a month ahead of you where you don't have to see him.  Most people who work with their xaffair partners never get that opportunity. You've been lucky, too, that you dodged the bullet and didn't get caught.

Next time you start with your fantasy thinking, make a gratitude list in your mind.  We get so busy pining for what we want at times we forget to be grateful for what we have...and could have lost.

You say your surgery is coming up soon.  I want to wish you the best of luck with that...and a speedy recovery.

Thoughts and prayers headed your way.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2014

Thank you clarity, surgery went well and I'm happy to say day 7 NC is almost over, when I wake it will be day 8! I have resisted any urge to contact him after my surgery, I'm feeling fine about it!!

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

Glad to hear the surgery went well.  Resist resist resist!  It's like you've been given a gift.  A whole month away to heal your heart, surgery to heal your body, a good man by your side to soothe your soul...everything's all lined up for you to make a new start...this is your reality.

Making contact with your fantasy won't do a damn thing except interrupt your healing process by taking your focus away from where it needs to be...on you.  

Keep up the good work.

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2014

Day 9 NC. Intensity of feelings have reduced. Still questions going through my head like is he thinking about me, does he even care that we are not talking, what is happening with him, etc etc. But its none of my business to know any of that, I just need to keep focusing on myself I guess

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

Congratulations on Day 9!  I'm happy to hear the intensity of feelings has been reduce.  They come in waves...just like the grieving process.  One minute you're feeling pretty darn good, next minute, whammo..but it always passes.

It's normal to wonder what's going on with him, but you are correct when you say that you need to focus on you.

Keep moving forward.  You're doing well.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2014

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