Stop me before I do something I regret

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Stop me before I do something I regret
5
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:41pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009

steady, alice.

do you do anything really physical?

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010

Alice,

Breathe. Just take some deep breaths. Get in a warm tub. Cry. BUT DO NOT DO ANYTHING TO BREAK NC.

Be done with this crap, Alice. It is a freakin game and you are GOING TO LOSE if you don't stop playing. Seriously, my friend. You are playing with fire. Do you really want to get all hysterical and slip up and end up having a DDay?

It all started as a game, Alice. You know that. You think you have developed feelings. You are in some twisted competition with his wife. What the hell for??? You have YOUR own life, wonderful children and a husband who loves you. Get off this crazy train you keep fueling. Get off of it NOW.

Go sit youself some place quiet and try to figure out why you are so angry. You don't really even want him, Alice. So what in the hell are you doing to yoursel?? You have to take enormous steps right now to get away from this lunatic lifestyle you've been leading.

Tough it out, girl. TOUGH IT OUT. You are stronger than you think. Try to redirect that rage some place positive--like investing in yourself. You are worth it. He and his life are not. IT IS UP TO YOU, ALICE. All we can do here is offer advice, sympathy, cyber hugs. The rest is up to you.

Praying you find strength right now...

~alwayst2

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010

Anger management is probably one of the best qualities you can develop.

If you will only sit back and say to yourself, "What could possibly go wrong with this idea", and then think about it you will slowly get over it.

He is just showing you his true colors.

It's always good for a laugh if you write down the answers, and then look at them later. Always brings a smile to my face.

Take a break...........we are hoping you calm down.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 10:05pm

"since my H and kids are all home I am trying to keep it together ... "

my kids aren't many days. they are sleeping somewhere else, being tucked in by their dad. i'm telling you Alice, you gotta start pulling your sh*t together before you lose them all. You can CHOOSE to not give a flying f*ck if they had a re-commitment ceremony on your front lawn. You just refuse to see this, you refuse to take responsibility for your feelings and are continuing to wallow about all the things he is doing for HIS WIFE. Stop resenting him for doing for her what she is entitled to. Get out of their life - like on an energy level. Please Alice. It is painful to watch someone coming so dangerously close to losing it all.

Please focus on you. Please start working on you. And why oh why is your therapist allowing you to spend your precious time thinking about what motivates him? The focus of your therapy should be on YOU and your motivations. Speculation is a waste of your time and money.

He's winning Alice and you're letting him.

I am worried about you. You made it so far out, so we know you have it in you. Are you reading the Healing Library? Are you studying the wisdom there? Have you read the articles posted by Michelle about obsessive thinking, distorted thinking? Boundaries?

((hugs)) Alice. Now, snap out of it.

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 10:41pm