strengthened resolve... mostly
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strengthened resolve... mostly
| Fri, 08-21-2009 - 1:32pm |
Hi... I was doing so well with no contact. He sent an email... and now i'm a complete tailspin.
I read and re-read everything on this board. I've printed pages - specifically the one from the healing library about Letter to OW which i refer to about 10 times a aday to remind myself that the indignity of being a secret far outweighs the highs of an A.
I do not want to give in. I will not give in to emailing him or fantasizing. His email says "We are at different stages in our lives and in our marriages right now is all.

You go girl!!!
Your ARE taking it back--your dignity, your integrity, your LIFE, your heart. Take it ALL back, Petal :)
I love the way your xAP tries to justify and rationalize your A--mine did the EXACT same thing. I was separated during our A but he wasn't, and he just saw our situation as us being in "different" places in our journey to be together. I'd been married longer, my kids were older, etc. So OF COURSE I would be further along in "our journey." And he'd just moved his family to a new city so how could I ever expect him to just up and leave right now, and oh yeah, what about his "special needs" son, and what about the money he borrowed from his dad to buy their house, and what about his career and the new job he just took, and what about blah, blah, blah . . .
These guys are seriously delusional, partly because they don't think of anyone but themselves and what works for them and how everything and everyone affects THEM. Can you say narcissist? And yet they play this martyr card and act like they are trying to do what's best for everyone else involved . . . yeah right.
You stay strong, Petal! You remember the pain and humiliation of being second. You hold tight to honesty and integrity. You go girl!
You sound very strong and determined! Keep it up!! :)
by xxiced
hey girl!
CL-Lovely Starr
"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h
Juliette and Lovely Starr, thank you for your replies. I was feeling very empowered at that moment.
I feel a little lost tonight... mostly because I feel like we are constantly fed the idea of "the dream" or true love. I think that's what i was looking for with xAP.
I read once that women in their 30's where jaded ... it was
Petal,
I don't think there's anything practical about Love.
<>
dancer, very good point.
I think during the process of healing, comes strength and knowledge of who we really are. For me, during the healing, which is still
If only hind sight could really be foresight, we'd all be much better off, but it doesn't work that way.
I look at it as
i think that when you go through a fire and it is fresh in your mind, you don't want to get burned again. time, however, heals this.
CL-Lovely Starr
"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h