Stressful triggers
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Stressful triggers
| Sun, 02-13-2011 - 7:00pm |
Hello everyone :)
I haven't been on the board as consisently this past month as I was at the start of my ending. Real life has presented a challenging trigger and I am working really hard at keeping my perspective in tact and focused on the issue and not make that issue about me. Someone very close to me has got caught up in foggy thinking. I have shared my experience and the pain I brought upon myself, I have even suggested reading EAS. None of these suggestions and sharing seems to be sinking in for them. It hurts to know someone so close and so important to me could experience this painful journey, I so want to be able to say stop and for them to hear what I am sharing. I have no control or power over this and I must let them learn for themselves. I will always be there for them and offer support, the support will be based in reality and I won't sugar coat anything. To all the newbies I have missed offering support too I want you to know I am very proud of the courage you take in ending tour A's and I am going to work harder at paying it forward in offering support as I have been given here:)
p.s. I am staying strong on maintaining no contact and while this trigger has been stressful I have also learned more about myself and my issues<3
I haven't been on the board as consisently this past month as I was at the start of my ending. Real life has presented a challenging trigger and I am working really hard at keeping my perspective in tact and focused on the issue and not make that issue about me. Someone very close to me has got caught up in foggy thinking. I have shared my experience and the pain I brought upon myself, I have even suggested reading EAS. None of these suggestions and sharing seems to be sinking in for them. It hurts to know someone so close and so important to me could experience this painful journey, I so want to be able to say stop and for them to hear what I am sharing. I have no control or power over this and I must let them learn for themselves. I will always be there for them and offer support, the support will be based in reality and I won't sugar coat anything. To all the newbies I have missed offering support too I want you to know I am very proud of the courage you take in ending tour A's and I am going to work harder at paying it forward in offering support as I have been given here:)
p.s. I am staying strong on maintaining no contact and while this trigger has been stressful I have also learned more about myself and my issues<3

I'm not sure that anything anyone said would have changed my mind in those early days, though I certainly look back now and feel grateful to the wonderful friend who simply said "Your H is a good man and he loves you. Ask yourself what he would think of each decision you make." (And I have ended all contact with the psychiatrist friend who told me that an A was just what my flagging M needed to help me feel alive again!)
Kat.
I remember the time leading up to my affair and I know I wouldn't of listened if I had chosen to share with people what I was conteplating. My actions during that rime are really standing out for me and it has given me further food for thought:)
Hi Jen,
You are so sweet and thoughtful.
You are 100% right, we all needed to find out on our own and while I can share my experience it won't help if someone doesn't want to hear. I can only keep my support very real and offer it when asked. I need to keep my boundaries clear and remain drama free. I will step away and learn more on the why's of this trigger. Thank you renewal for the reminder to take care it really is essential in our healing journey:)