struggling

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
struggling
5
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 11:44am

Ok so we used a message app to text, i uninstalled said app so he can't txt unless he texts my physical number which he won't and he probably doesn't even know i uninstalled it, it made it so i had a different number then my own. If he has text he will think he its being ignored. Here's my issue my last text wasn't very nice i pretty much told him off and uninstalled soi don't know if he replied. Right now I'm tempted to install it to see.
Yes i know this is a very bad idea and that's why I'm here so help a girl out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 1:48pm

don't. do. it.Yell

I know it's hard. I've been there entirely too many times...but give yourself a break. Remove yourself from anything that leaves you hurt, scared or fragmented...and at the very least..if you look? You are back into fragmented.(this is what I keep telling myself)

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 1:50pm

Move away from the phone.  Why set yourself up?

What if he tried?  What if he did not?

What would that mean?  How would you feel?  How would it affect your moving forward and away?

Rein in that impulsiveness and think all the way through to the logical conclusion and consequences.

Stay the course, LFH...you're not going to find your happy there anymore. 

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 2:03pm
The reason i said what i said and uninstalled was cuz neither of us will give up the last word and he knows if he keeps replying he will engage me, he starts mean and then he boo hoos about how screwed up he is yada yada... I said some mean things and got rid if it on propose so he couldn't do it. Now here's where I'm thinking if i open it and he did respond I'm gonna want to counter that's just how i am, well i can't have that lol that's not NC, if i open and he didn't say anything well then i know i will feel awful even though i called him a loser and a liar who will never change, i still think he should of begged.. Wth is wrong with me?
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 6:36pm

One of my favorite expressions is "don't poke him in the eye". It's symbolic for hurting someone. 

If you think about it logically, that is what you are after.  Another strike, or poke in the eye. Something to hurt him like you have been hurt. I know its not cheap, very expensive when the payback comes home.

You are right, there is nothing to be gained by finding out if he did or he didn't. Let the sleeping dog, lay.

You would just be poking someone, you or him in the eye. Messaging him, you know it's a poke. Finding out he did not message you back, and you have poked yourself in the eye. It is a lose/lose situation.

Do the exercise.  It's a lot more beneficial to you.

Keep advancing the ball. You can't win if you don't.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 6:58pm

Nothing wrong with you...lol  I think it's normal to play little headgames with ourselves, even though they serve us no purpose but to keep us engaged and ruin a perfectly good present moment.

Find something better to do.  Hey, why don't you answer my Q&A thread...that'll keep you plenty occupied for a while...hah.  You'll be wracking your brain....and you might when you are through realize that you didn't think of JAM or reinstalling that ap and the urge has passed...hah! Laughing

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board