What you are experiencing is the finality of it all. Sometimes it takes much longer for it to hit, but your heart is realizing it is over for good this time, which is making you want to hold onto that last shred of hope...
It is a sad feeling, and one of those reality checks that kick us in the gut harder than others do, but nevertheless it is like a big black cloud following us around. BUT IT WILL PASS. Just hang in there, honey. Winter, no more holidays till May, and mind drifting can turn any day into one you want over with ASAP.
I am struggling too - breath by breath - moment to moment, I just want to get to the next break in the craving and I know that I will soon, and I know that I'll feel stronger and clearer again. At least now, I have moments of feeling stronger and better to think back on, to remind myself that it has been dark, really dark, and I have pulled through it - and that I/you will again.
That's what I am telling myself. And in regards to V-day. I am celebrating that this year I won't have to have pains of wishing we were spending the day together, wondering if she received more 'love' than I did etc ... I am celebrating Loving myself more this V-day than settling and selling out.
Well --- that's me. We're in this together and we'll get out of this together ... some sooner than later, but there's no going back my fierce and amazing board members.
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gosh, i wish i could help you in some way, gal.....i feel exactly the same way.
Thanks, Buddy.
Gal,
What you are experiencing is the finality of it all. Sometimes it takes much longer for it to hit, but your heart is realizing it is over for good this time, which is making you want to hold onto that last shred of hope...
It is a sad feeling, and one of those reality checks that kick us in the gut harder than others do, but nevertheless it is like a big black cloud following us around. BUT IT WILL PASS. Just hang in there, honey. Winter, no more holidays till May, and mind drifting can turn any day into one you want over with ASAP.
((Hugs))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~
I'm day 14 NC and I have been struggling the past few days as well.
I agree that there is something in the air )-:
I am struggling too - breath by breath - moment to moment, I just want to get to the next break in the craving and I know that I will soon, and I know that I'll feel stronger and clearer again. At least now, I have moments of feeling stronger and better to think back on, to remind myself that it has been dark, really dark, and I have pulled through it - and that I/you will again.
That's what I am telling myself. And in regards to V-day. I am celebrating that this year I won't have to have pains of wishing we were spending the day together, wondering if she received more 'love' than I did etc ... I am celebrating Loving myself more this V-day than settling and selling out.
Well --- that's me. We're in this together and we'll get out of this together ... some sooner than later, but there's no going back my fierce and amazing board members.
Yup I miss him, but I miss me more.
Gal,
I'm right there struggling to maintain NC like you.
Struggling here too!
Gal, you have a done a teriffic job so far in your NC journey.
All -
I cannot thank you enough for all of your kind words and support today. I really needed it.
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