Struggling with the NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Struggling with the NC
5
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 8:27pm

Hi there. I'm mostly a lurker, but have responded to a couple of you, so I hope I can find some support.

NC since October 2, 2009.

&nbsp
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 8:32pm
You want to write a letter eh?
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 9:37pm

Hi gal,

Congratulations on 8 days NC that is wonderful; and kudos to you for posting here instead of sending that text. You're on your way to feeling so much better about yourself and your life! It takes time to purge an xAP from our lives, have faith that you can do this and that time will heal the wounds. Don't beat yourself up for thinking about him at this point, it's normal. I agree that it's better and way easier on us to just not know what they are up to; that's why total NC is the preferred choice on EAS. Once you've made it through the month then you won't know anymore so you won't be dwelling.

Try to fill up your own weekends with lots of things and people you really enjoy; that way time will go by quickly and mercifully. The first weeks are the toughest and that's why we're here for you :)

hugs,

trixie xo



"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Sun, 10-11-2009 - 9:39am

Gal~


First, I would like to welcome you to Endings. The weekends are slow around here so I would suggest you keep busy by reading the Healing Library and when you are finished doing that, follow Trixie's suggestion and try to surround yourself with friends and family for taking your mind off of XAP.


Secondly, you mentioned that XAP is not the man you thought he was. Well, they never are, my dear, or are we the person we thought we were either. Affairs change our persona, so much so, that we become a person we don't even like or would want to be friends with. The lying and sneaking around takes a toll on our self respect/self esteem,

Iddy

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Sun, 10-11-2009 - 9:58pm

All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this board. I'm so glad I found it and was brave enough to post here.

NC since October 2, 2009.

&nbsp
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Mon, 10-12-2009 - 7:12am

Dear Gal,


I'm was so happy to see that you responded again and from the words you have so eloquently have written, it does appear that you want to put this all behind you. We really do morph into strangers when engulfed in the affair fog. One day we look in the mirror and are astounded at the image that stares back. We become unrecognizable, and

Iddy

<