Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid
29
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:06am

I'm here to confess that last night I emailed ex-MM.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:18am

Mickey -


(((HUGS)))

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:25am

Oh Mickey (((((((((((((((((Mickey)))))))))))))))
We all know how hard it is to resist contacting him.
Please don't beat yourself up about it.
What about writing a list with ALL the things he hurt you with in the past? And what kind of way is that the way he is talking to you!!!!!

HUGS
htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:35am

That's typical talk....that's kind of how we talk to each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:36am

Mickey,


Many here are going to tell you not to beat yourself up over this, but I am not many. You may have gotten some relief but now the emotional turmoil starts all over again while you wait to see if he writes more. If he is stronger than you, he won't. Someone has to be the grown up here and realize that just one little snort of that white stuff

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:49am

HI iddy,


Emailing the blank email (from my computer) took me about 10 seconds vs. reading this site which would take much longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 10:56am

I was in the exact same place you are last Friday....I felt like an addict too. As soon as I hit the send button I got instant relief. I was the one who ended our friendship 2 weeks prior. I think the fact that he was strong enough to not contact me was just getting to me and I caved in. I used the holiday as an excuse for contact. I knew he would respond b/c we are family friends and he is not going to be outright rude to me b/c we do have to see one another. However after his response, which by the way said nothing that I wanted to hear, I emailed him again. I had to push...I asked him to be friends again and I never heard from him. That hurt so much. I was having a very weak moment and I caved. I regret sending that initial email so much now but what is done is done. His silence is speaking to me loud and clear. WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS!!!!!!


I am hurting today and I keep looking for an email from him on my BB but there is none. I know he has moved on. So that hurts just as much as it has hurt for the past 3 1/2 years but I hope now I am done for good. I have to learn from this. I need to just stop. What helps me now is the fact that he is getting better, he is helping himself to move on and so should I.


The best advice is to keep thinking about all of the bad that happened between the two of you , not the good stuff. I am also so tired of hurting when I have a perfectly good life to live. I also like to think it is so his loss for him to not have me in his life. The non psycho so-sad is really a great girl. That is the one he will see from now on and he will miss that ....so src*w him. I also do not let myself think that he has the upper hand, that is such b.s. Just because I was stupid enough to break contact does not mean he has the upper hand. I know in my heart how he really feels and just b/c he is chosing not to show me does not mean those feelings are not there. He has just decided that his real life is more important than me and truthfully it should be as my life is more important than him as well. That is a fact.


Wow, getting that out felt good. Stay strong Mickey...we will get out of

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 11:09am

Thanks so-sad,


Why do I keep laying down on the sidewalk for him to step on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 11:20am

Mickey,


"Why do I keep laying down on the sidewalk for him to step on?"


Because you are keeping the line of communication open with him, you are allowing yourself you feel rejected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 11:21am

Hey Mic,


I understand your agony. And agony is exactly what the email has now created. But what is done is done. Like Iddy says, you gave in. Now you have to understand why you caved and

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 12:01pm

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I already gave you suggestions. Delete him from your email list and out of your cell phone/BB or block him. Caller ID will help with home calls if he stoops to dialing your landline. If you are unsure of a phone #, let it go to voice. This is the only surefire way not to slip up again. There is medication you can take on an as-needed basis for anxiety attacks. I have a bottle at home and in my purse. They are cheap and you can get them from your doctor in a heartbeat. Sometimes we need just a little extra help because I know all to well how stuff sneaks up on us, especially when we are still fragile and/or in pain.


You can do this,





   ~Iddy~ 


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