In such a BAAAAAAAAAD MOOD....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
In such a BAAAAAAAAAD MOOD....
7
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 3:38pm

I've not had a very good day to start with; just various reasons so then I had to go over and ask him about something and I had total attitude, when I walked into his office I practically slammed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 7:05pm

Ok Crazygirl-

I know you are angry and you hate him today, but showing him this anger is only going to make him feel more powerful and you look and feel more out of control.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 1:37pm
Thanks for that - I know, I know. I don't know why I'm so angry all over again it seems? I've been free of that anger for quite sometime and it's as if it is creeping back up on me somehow?

I had to ask him about more stuff today and I had the same vibe but wasn't total attitude like yesterday; I just asked him what I needed, he was very polite and I didn't even look at him; no eye contact, no nothing, I looked anywhere and everywhere besides HIM.

I'll chalk it up to a crappy few days, if I put it in perspective, so what - right I mean all in all I'm doing great.

Thanks again
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 2:24pm
Crazygirl,

Yes you are doing great (-: It's brutally hard work - and to add to it, you work with the 'man'. I think sometimes this can work to your advantage .... hear me out (-: As the days go by, you are learning, growing & changing. From this place of new growth you can 'see' that he is still the same old sh&t. You have the opportunity to see that he isn't the fantasy man that you once thought him to be. I fear that many people here who don't see their xAPs after it ends, remember only the good and built them up to be "all that" in their minds. You however can see first hand that he is just as lost, broken and messed-up as he was when you were in the affair. Use that knowledge to propel you even further! The less you focus on him and his behaviour/treatment of you, the stronger you will become. Moving to a place of indifference takes discipline and practice. You don't 'just arrive' there. You make choices. You make choices to let him impact you or not, to dictate your behaviour or not. He isn't the boogy man, he is just a clown wearing a white sheet ghost costume. The real demons are inside you. What are you doing to work on sending them packing?

((hugs))

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 3:41pm

CG,

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 3:50pm

Crazy Girl-

You are right, you are doing great and it is good to keep it in perspective!!!

I fear that many people here who don't see their xAPs after it ends, remember only the good and built them up to be "all that" in their minds. You however can see first hand that he is just as lost, broken and messed-up as he was when you were in the affair. Use that knowledge to propel you even further!

TU- That was an awesome reminder to all of us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 4:24pm

He sounds like a real Pig to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 10:21pm

Crazy, you lil' drama queen - ;) how did your day go?