Such thing as too honest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Such thing as too honest?
8
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 10:55pm

Ok, so here I am.. been trying to reconcile with H

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 12:49am

Aw, I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 1:59am

Hi HA7Y,


I remember from some of your previous posts that you did go to MC. Don’t know if your H went to IC to deal with his anger? It seems from your previous posts that he still has a lot of anger. I cannot imagine trying to rebuild and connect with my DH and him continually spewing hurtful remarks especially at dinner in front of our kids as your H did in front of your D last year. I can see how you would become numb to it. I could see how it would be very hard to reconnect when he is pushing you further away with his anger.


Has your H done anything to change or acknowledge his shortcomings in the M? Have you been able to express in MC or in talking to your H how he has hurt you in the past?

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:53am

Picture the situation reversed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 7:38pm

Hi, Heartache-
I think there is such a thing as too much honesty.

But I think there is something deeper going on with you and this post is just the tip of the iceberg.

I went back and read all of your old posts... I think you might be asking for permission to give up on your M. Am I way off base?

We really need sooooo much more information, as Iddy said, before we can help you.

Until then - love and prayers for strength.
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:34pm

Thanks for the posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 5:04pm

Hi HAA7Y,


It’s so good to read you are going to IC and doing the hard work of learning and growing! Nothing compares to it!


As far as nothing in M changing even after MC, that is disheartening.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 7:02pm

Thanks E1-


I always appreciate your kind words and insightful questions.


Do you think there would be hope in you connecting with your H if things in the M did change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 7:21pm

Hey there beautiful lady! Thanks for posting a pic. It’s so nice to connect a actual real living person to a post.


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Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.