Suffering in Silence
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Suffering in Silence
| Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:08am |
While consistently reading the posts here, I have been suffering in silence.
| Sun, 09-12-2004 - 11:08am |
While consistently reading the posts here, I have been suffering in silence.
For months I wracked my brains and conscience, seeking the right course. He's going through a very, very difficult time, and it feels cruel to deny him my friendship and support. However, HE IS MARRIED, and has admitted to me that she would be hurt if she knew the extent of our feelings for one another, and all the secret meetings, calls, and emails. She would be devastated if she knew he had shared her "secret" with me (although I had long suspected she was gay....)
I love this man deeply, and have for many years. I want the best for him. And all I can come up with is that it is best for them to work through their issues without adding to the confusion by my presence in his life. I read it time and time again on this board - if the marriage is going to end, it has to be because they decide it isn't working, not because of some outside person. If it does end, there's no guarantee that he will be with me - he may want to move on, as many do. As you say, if it's meant to be, it will happen.
I relate so strongly to your feelings of suffering in silence (can't tell anyone!), and the pain you feel when hearing the details of his life. Confusion, anger, hurt - exactly! I can't help except to say that you are not alone (though our circumstances are quite different) and that you will not regret your decision to bring your life out of the darkness and into the light. Don't wait - live your life! If the time comes when you can be with him - for real, honorably - you will have no guilt, because you did the right thing. If you don't end up together, you are honoring your spirit and that will help you to move on and find what you deserve. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time.
Namaste-
mtnsweetheart
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IMO, if you want to put your life on hold until next year, that is your choice BUT waiting for the ink to dry on those divorse could be the longest wait of your life. Are you willing to bank on what could just be false hopes and promises?
Total NC is what this man needs right now if he is to get his priorities straight. As long as he knows you will take his calls and listen while he alleviates his marriage woes and problems on you, he will never get off of the fence; for you OR his wife. IMO, he is stringing you both along....
If you really love him, let him go. You might rediscover some real love in the process: Loving yourself again.
~True~
Mtnsweetheart and True, your responses are full of wisdom and truth.