The surprising benefit of having a public D-Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
The surprising benefit of having a public D-Day
9
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 9:09pm

HI Everyone,

Most of you know my story. My D-Day/Confession to my H in July 2009 led to a very public scandal. Everyone in my life found out about my A, including my then 8 year old daughter. It led to the loss of my career, physical, and emotional abuse from my H.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
angie - I feel fairly wimpy with how I've been handling my ending. I cannot imagine how you woke up and faced it all every day. How did you eat? Sleep? Wowow.

I give you so much credit and am glad you are able to see a good side to it all!

Gypsy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011

None of us here are wimpy.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:08pm
I totally agree. The A's, while horribly painful, do have benefits. I am so present in my kids life. I see the devastation and I have learned to stay away from temptation. I see simple flirting and I nip it in the bud before it can even flicker. I am stronger, love myself more, value REAL friendships. I still feel the yucky feeling on occasion, but I am happier. I was a mess before the A's, but the suffering of them made me get my shiz together. I was forced to look at myself in the mirror and face how ugly I had become on the inside....
I mean it was life transforming. But if it took all that bad, hurt, and pain to get me to where I am now, I wilt take it. I do not know if my stubborn azz would have had it any other way. I regret hurting others, but I know that I had to go to that bad place, to love myself today.

One other amazing benefit, I met all of you. I got to Iddy. I got to love TU and my big sis Dee (we are only a year apart). My homies E-1 and Clarity. They are a handful of us on here who have just stayed and stayed for years and years. I could come to these women with anything. ANYTHING and I know they are not going to fluff me up. They are not going to tell me what i want to here, they are going to tell me how it is and what I need to do. I do not have 5 people in real life who would be there for me like they would. These are women I have never seen....and yet, I truly adore.

So I would not a change a thing. It brought me here. Brought me to all of you. So yep....great benefits.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:17pm
Beautiful post, Luvin. And Angie, thank you so much for starting it...really makes one think about what it truly means to take our lives back. And how to be grateful for the present, the here and now. :) getting out of the fog takes some determination and tough work - no way is ending a task for wimps! We are all becoming refined and stronger...each and every day.
I am ever thankful for everybody here.

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2011
If I could 'like' this like on FB, I so frigging would! Angie you are a positive, shining example of strength in the face of adversity to all.

You rock girl!
EO
The first day of the rest of my life: 25/10/2011
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
EO is rockin' the house...
And Angie, you are a shining star. :) I am giving you tons of cyber (((HUGS))) right now.

Hearts <3
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 12:22pm

Angie, you are a tough lady.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011

Thanks for your comments, everyone.

RBM, I'm sad to hear that you are beyond caring anymore.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Wow, Angie. I had heard of JJ Heller before but never heard any of her songs...that song was amazing. And you sang it. Incredible. You have truly been on a long road and you are an inspiration to so many. There is hope. There is joy beyond the pain and sorrow. Your testimony to that is beautiful.

Hearts <3