Swearing Him Off after ....
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| Fri, 09-25-2009 - 1:43pm |
I've been having an affair for a little over a year now with a guy who is in a relationship with 2 kids.. I was also in a relationship. Pretty much we were just coworkers/ friends with benefits. I knew that nothing would come of it but great sex... I did think that he'd be truthful with me.
So today, I logged into facebook & noticed I had a friend request.. it was from his kids mom... I was like OMG, whats this so with him being at work ( construction ) I text' him & told him, he was like its cool. He's met my bf & I've never met his gf before. I accepted the add, then realized she added every girl on his FB page ( keeping tabs, I suppose) . Only to learn that they were expecting another child. I was blown way out of proportion... I've been to their home & seen the pregnancy mags on the table, but having a toddler in the home already I didnt pay it any mind. Guess I was being naive when I asked if they were expecting & he said nothing at all..... He totaled his car & got a mini van... that should have been the dead give away ya know. I thought he would have been real enough with me to tell me ya know, I mean when I thought I was prego he went to the doctors office with me & everything.
Sorry for venting, but I just feel like UGHHHH... I knew it would come to this sooner or later.. I am so swearing off men in relationships.. I just dont think its worth it anymore, even though it was the best sex ever....
Needless to say I sent him a text saying ... "Wow A girl, congrats!! I have nothing else to say to you"
Ladies... Any suggestions on what to do next.. what would you do ? What should I do... I'm kinda upset

So if he is FWB with 2 kids already then what is the reason for you being upset?
Yea we all lie to keep our own butts out of the fire. As far as I was concerned we were friends 1st before we became FWB. I thought it would continue to be that way, friends first.
Its not the one more kid that is bothering me, its him not being honest & straight up with me
The stakes are different and the relationship changes once sex is involved.
I agree.. we all do have different views...
I've met the kids.. Just not the gf. I've take n him to the doctors when he was in a car accident & couldnt get there on his own... I'd never accept anything from him.. to the point it bothered him..
Thank you though.. Just needed to rant
Hi wild,
FWB is a very tricky zone to enter... and as you know there are no Rules. He may have thought that the truth would upset you so he lied by omission.
Or - and this is what I think happened - the fact that he's having sex with his W and you makes him feel like a two-timing cake-eating scumbag, and he knows it but he luvs his cake too much to give it up that easily. Ergo, he would rather avoid having to discuss the whole ugly situation with the one person who knows he's a cheating two-timer - you. And for the rest of the world he can pretend he's the doting father and faithful committed husband.
What to do next? Well, my #1 advice to you would be to end the sexual relationship immediately. He needs to stop dicking around and focus on his expanding family, and maybe you need to look at your relationship as well... having a FWB when you're in a committed relationship is not healthy for your psyche.
big hugs,
trixie xo
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Hey Trixie:
Somehow I missed this thread and your post was dead on.
CL-Lovely Starr
"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h