T0: CL-Noregretsever
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T0: CL-Noregretsever
| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 10:52am |
I was reading through some of your archived posts. I read where your OW(the one you are now married to)got divorced and then waited for 2 years for you to get a divorce. Wow! She must have loved you a lot. Was it difficult for you during the time that she was single, trying to make a decision about your marriage or whether you wanted to be with the OW? Did you ever worry about OW finding someone else while you were trying to decide on your marriage?

I am also interested in knowing your wife's perspective during that time.
Thanks
xOM was single while I remained married those 2 years. She dated a few other guys, although not too enthusiastically.
Was it difficult for me? Yes. I loved/love my xW and wished she could have been more like the OW. Had many conversations and counseling sessions going over what I was looking for from her for the marriage to continue. Just wasn't going to happen. Counselor's advice to me after 6 months of 2 a week sessions was to either accept that I was going to be the only person in the marriage who was wrong or get out. I chose get out. Enough was enough. I knew at that point I had done everything I could to work the marriage short of dying and had been validated by the most impartial 3rd party: her counselor.
As to whether I "worried" about xOW finding someone else; actually, not really. I believed then as I do now that those things meant to be will happen. Those that aren't don't. It is our responsibility to make conscious choices and accept responsibility for the results of those choices. If xOW had been intended to find someone else while I was sitting on the fence, it would have happened. Especially during the NC time. Didn't happen and here we are now together.
Do you mean current wife or ex-wife?
cl-nre
I am/was interested in your current wife's thoughts/feelings during the time that you went back.