A tactic that helped me today

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
A tactic that helped me today
1
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:12am
i heard from xMM a few times today via email. they were all notes that required a response. i wrote back immediately, but then saved the response in my drafts folder. a few hours later, i toned down my responses--and sent very appropriate replies. It really helps me to get my thoughts and feelings down immediately and then to take a look at them a few hours later. Much of the urgency passes, if i work this way.

I seem to want to do a lot of things on impulse. Yesterday, a poster on this board, urged me to SLOW DOWN and i think that is good advice. If there is a "knot" in your stomach as you think about contacting or replying or calling Xmm then it's not a good time to do it. "Not" do it, is what i say.

I was made an offer today to buy a local business in my neighborhood. The deal is potentially VERY lucrative for me and could provide me financial independence--especially important if H and i divorce. I have been reeling with this all day. It's very exciting and actually fell in my lap. Came out of the clear blue sky. The answer to prayer? Someone watching out for me? The chance would change my career path somewhat, but i would OWN something and still be able to write, which is what i do. It feels empowering. I feel good about it, but have a few months to make a full decision on it.

Like the good advice i got here: SLOW DOWN!

In the emails i got from Xmm, he acknowlege my win over his little league team, talked about some of his feelings of visiting my sons' school (a possible move for his own son--which would mean i would see him and his W often until they graduate) and he EVEN asked how i was doing. Imagine that.

Like i said, i responded appropriately, without giving hiim anything to "feed" on.

More to come, i am sure. My mantra today is SLOW DOWN. It's not a race: it's a marathon.

Clarice



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:59am
Dear Clarice: Your post brought a smile to my face this morning. Good for you! One of the first things we learn in recovery from addiction is not to act on our first thought - impulse - it's probably not the best action to take. Because of my character defects, I tended to believe that I had to act on every thought I had because I didn't want to sit in the "uncomfortability" of the feelings. I've learned to let the first thought go and wait for the second thought. It's usually saner and healthier. As time passes, my thoughts get saner and healthier and my response is becoming more appropriate to the situations I face. That sounds like a much longer version of what you did yesterday (I'm an addict, I complicate everything!!!!) But what wonderful progress you made!

The business falling into your lap? I don't believe that either. When we do the right thing, the right thing happens in our lives. The opportunity you've been presented with is just what you need at the moment. Whatever source you pray to knows that so yes, it probably is the answer to your prayers.

I'm feeling a bit disconnected today, and reading your message helped center me. I need to remember that I'm not in control of anything here, but if I show up and do the right things, the right things will come my way. Thanks for sharing your insight and keep up the positive attitude!!! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10