Taking My Power Back
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| Fri, 03-11-2005 - 11:23am |
Well I knew this day would come. After not hearing from MM for a couple months now, with no explanation or anything, he emails me yesterday and leaves a message if I still want to see him again.
WTF? It makes me mad to think he even THINKS he can treat me this way and I'll come running back.
I know I shouldn't even dignify him with an answer but I did send a response back saying "you ignore me totally for 2 mos. And now you want to see me again? I'll have to think about that".
I know he's probably PISSED at that response because now I haven't heard anything back from him. In a way I hope it stays like that. Because I am ticked off at him and he doesn't have the right to treat me this way!! Even though we had good times together, I'm thinking that I am better off putting him into my past and keeping him there.
Thanks everyone for help keeping me strong on this one.
Dusty

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As I have obsessed about this for 2 days I know that when I am thinking rationally it doesn't really matter what he thinks, feels or wants. What matters is me, what I think, what I stand for and what I will allow into my life. My head knows this, my emotions are angy and yet I still consider being that piece of a--. thinking that somehow he cares for me. What is wrong with me?
They don't really give a damn about us except as a booty call. If they really cared, they would not leave us hanging like that.
I don't know what makes me madder or hurts more. Being left alone and ignored, or having him contact me again!! I am still so angry about that. And he has not responded to my answer to him, he is probably ticked off at me for that.
But too bad!! He treats me like crap and I'm supposed to go running back?? I DON"T THINK SO!!
I am just plain mad right now. Hope I can keep these feelings going.
Dusty
The truth is though what do you want out of this and where do you see it heading? The reality may be that we have been used. What can you do about it? What are you willing to do? Use your anger to stay strong and build a better you.
Hi again, you are very right in all that you say. Although I enjoyed the sex with him too, if he had only shown me a little more respect out of the bed, maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way.
Right now I am very angry but still feel like I want to cry. Because if I give in and apologize (and why should I) for the kind of nasty email I sent this morning, he'd be all willing to be back with me. But how much of this am I willing to put up with?
I know he's online right now. He has an account he said he only went online there to talk to me. So he knows I can see him on there. But he hasn't answered me back.
Its just sad to think I was no more than a piece of A.. to him even though we went on for 3+ years, I thought maybe I would be just a tiny bit more important to him ...
Oh lord, just let me get thru this day!! I know I will be fine once I am home for the weekend and don't have to think about him!!
Dusty
Thanks, I need the moral support right now!! It is SO tempting to email him now I know for sure he is there. But I'm not gonna do that. I'm leaving it as it is OVER.
I can't go back there again, I'd just be showing him how little I think of myself and how I am a doormat when he comes calling when it suits him to.
I was willing to go on how we were for a long time. Heck we've been doing this for 3 years. But he's shown me time and again that he has no respect for my feelings really and I've accepted it up til now. He's probably surprised that I had this angry reaction this time.
I will miss the sex of course, but maybe just knowing that he KNOWS he's blown it this time and leave him with wanting ME, maybe the revenge will taste a little sweet for me.
Dusty
Dusty
So how much DISRESPECT are you going to take from this LOSER, any man that has to treat a woman like he treats you is a LOSE, don't be his toy that he picks up when the mood strikes him to get his rocks off only to be put back on the shelf tell he has a wet dream again.
Free
Dusty
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You have been very strong during this NC! Dont lose that! I KNOW this is so hard. After 2.5 years I was hoping I meant more to MM then It seems like I did too but you know what, we wont even care after a while.
Thinkign about you and hopign you got thru ok.
Let us know how you are
Bria
If he is such a loser, what does that make her for asking "how high?" Every time said loser calls and says, "jump!"
Stay strong Dusty and don't allow him to disrespect you...Only you can stop that.
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