Tell me what you think...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tell me what you think...
3
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 5:03pm
About this letter to x-MM...

You know I just don't understand your attitude you are so cold about all of this and with all of that not even a "how are you feeling?" or a "hope the procedure goes well". My god we were friends before all of this, or it was just an act of a caring friend for your conquest. I could give a damn about the sexual relationship we had because as far as I am concerned that is all that we had on the physical aspect of things. The friendship was always primordial and when there was no physical aspect or what you called the "relationship" friendship, caring, and remorse went out the window. How could you use someone like that? You were feeling like crap, low, like a nothing. You wish somebody would stalk you, that is why you were always implying that I was. This has nothing to do with the fact that you chose the right path to continue with your wife because she is the one that has to deal with your infidelities and your online internet porno which she probably does'nt know about, this has to do with the fact that for 2 years you pretended to be my friend and for 1 year of that used me for your emotional gain. Which is fine my conscience is clean. Deep down inside I felt you needed a little ego boost and helped you along the way, to make you feel like a man because it was clear you were introverted. You need reassurance from a female all of the time and I realized that but instead of dwelling in the light you try to crush the person that is giving you the reassurance. You are right that sometimes a person can mistake other feelings for love. I think I realized that also with you. When I met you we clicked, we had a great friendship laughed and had the same sense of humor, we spent alot of time together inevitably, I felt sorry for you because you had lost both your parents very young and saw the angst in your face, I also felt sorry for you because you had no friends and no family and that (from your own words) your wifes family had become a burden on your marriage and that you had wanted out of the marriage for the longest time because she did'nt appreciate you and she treated you like crap and nagged you all the time while she never nagged her own family members. I felt sorry that you said that your mom abused you as well as your brother, that you still had issues. All of these things never made me lash out at you or hurt you because I felt you were fragile. I now realize that what I felt for you was a deep remorse ontop of caring as a friend and felt that I needed to help you to get you away from all of that to help you feel better because you were never happy and felt that you were happy when you were with me, and I don't mean the sex. All of this made me think that I loved you when in reality the motherly instinct that every woman has inside kicked in and thought that I could help. Remorse and caring can be mistaken for love easily. Now to see that all that you said was for your conquest just makes me sick. I felt sorry for you and that is what you wanted because since you have no charm and chivalry you have to use that to get a woman. I am going to say goodbye to you even though you don't deserve it and never said it to me when you left but again that is expected from you. Everything happens for a reason in your case in my case I stuck around to help an idiot. I had to say all of this because this is me closing a chapter of my life that I have no regrets for, it was a learning experience and I am also free in every aspect of the it. Goodbye


Thanks for reading

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 7:00pm
You don't owe him a thing. Chilling silence is FAR more effective.

~True~

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 7:16pm
HI True glad to see you did not leave us you have a lot to offer them who want to recieve.

Free

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 7:24pm
Good only from the aspect that you've purged emotions and it makes a good fire.

Now, print it off, delete it from you 'pute and take it outside and burn it. Light a match, touch the flame to the paper, watch as the paper curls up, blackens and then turns to ash. Picture your anger and hurt disappearing right along with the smoke.

Do not under any circumstances send it.

NC is far more effective than anything you could possibly say to these weasels in denting their little ego's which seem to require incessant stroking from multiple sources.

Wishing you strength & peace,

Posie