tempted to break NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
tempted to break NC
7
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 6:55pm
I am having a REALLY hard time with this tonight. I don't exactly feel sad, I am just incredibly tempted to call him on the phone tonight. Today is exactly one week of NC and he hasn't tried to contact me, so I'm starting to think that it's easy for him and that he doesn't even miss me :( I can't call him... I can't...I can't...I can't!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 7:05pm
HI Song just some support

Don't do it, don't do it, dont't do it.

Be strong you can do this, you are to good to play second fiddle in his disfuntinal band.

Be proud of this first week don't blow it now.

Find something to do go out see a friend anything just stay NO CONTACT

GOOD LUCK STRONG WOMAN

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 7:31pm
Girl, I've been there and I know it is rough. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic and reach for the phone. I actually started putting the phone somewhere out of reach so i wouldn't call him at night....it was so hard. He was going thru the same thing I think, because he would let my phone ring once....it was like he was sending me some kind of sign. Dont think because he isnt calling you that it is easy for him. Maybe he just has more diversion,,,,or more control.

Please think back to why you are doing NC to begin with. It is something that you need to do for you...it does get easier trust me. I thought I was going to die in the beginning...I remember when I got through three weeks, I was so proud of myself...I think after that it just got easier. A little easier each day...until those moments of panic and wanting to call him faded. Hang in there...try and distract yourself...anything to stop you from calling.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 7:34pm
Thank you for the support.

I am trying soooo hard to be strong. I think the only thing really stopping me from calling him is that I don't know if he is at work tonight or home with W. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I break down and call him though. I just want to hear his voice and know how he's doing :( uggghhh this is hard!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 7:51pm
HI Song

Her is a thought for you, if you break no contact you get to go back to square one and start all over again, how much fun would that be.

Here is a second thought for you if you truly care for him then you have to support him in doing NO CONTACT because thats what he is doing for the sake of his baby, he may have intial pleasure in hereing from you but how long before it turns into resentment for putting his future with is child at risk.

Free

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:03pm
this is about respect too. If one person is trying hard to do NC you should leave them be out of respect.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:13pm
Well, I haven't called yet....so all is good for now. I'm pretty sure I won't call tonight, tomorrow will be another challenge though. More than actually wanting to talk to him, I just have this really strong desire to just hear is voice and know that he is ok, and still breathing, lol, and to see if he is doing ok with life. I just wish there was a little bird that could fly into my window and t ell me how he is. Then I think I would be ok. I have this crazy fear (which stems from things that have happened in my past when I was younger) that he could die (feels bad for even thinking it) and no one would ever even know of me to tell me, and I would never find out. I know I must sound crazy.... sorry
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:29pm
Hi Song

No you don't sound crazy, you have been marked by a bad experience, it happens.

NC is a one day at a time thing so just take it that way it's the most you can do.

He is unlikely to drop dead suddenly unless his wife finds out you called and does him in (this was a joke).

But there always the obits in the local paper if you don't here anything (also a joke).

Song what your doing in keeping NO CONTACT is for the good of all involved, sometimes doing the right thing can be very hard.

You may not believe this but your going to come out of this a much stronger person with well defined rules for runing your life.

Remember your a tower of strength

F