Tender mercies
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Tender mercies
| Tue, 05-11-2010 - 11:55am |
As horrible and awful as this whole mess is, there are some things I am grateful for as I make my way through the heartache of healing from my affair.

~~Serenity~~
Love is all you need.
~~Serenity~~
Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace. ---Buddha
I'm the same way... no chance of me running in to my xAP, and I am very grateful for that. However, I do have to pass by the places we went together, and that gets to me... sometimes.
-Angel
I know, right? It just goes to show that someone, somewhere always has a much more difficult row to hoe. Kudos to all the ladies who are dealing well with LC, for sure. Those of us who are not doing it, and still whine, should take a moment (or 10) and thank our lucky stars -- whilst remembering that "if you can do LC, we can CERTAINLY do NC."
Cheers,
Dee
swimming, you have a good attitude there. My xAP was my college love over 30 years ago. He lives 1000 miles from me now. For 3 years our affair was weekends together every 6 weeks or so. Like you, I am grateful I do not have to learn LC. I still have triggers after 2 yrs of ending it. So even though he is truly out of sight, there are memories and places that throw it all back in my face.
I love your point about going 20 yrs without him in your life. Right on girl! I've said this before here on EAS, but it bears repeating. When I was going through the nasty roller coaster of trying to stop the insanity, a very wise EAS poster, asked me if he was so important in my life, then where was he all those years? Why did he all the sudden become my life line? My soul mate? He wasn't around to help me raise my children, bury my parents, clean house and cook dinner! It was that point and letting it "simmer" for a while that put a lot of the affair in perspective for me.
My heart does go out to those who have to work or see their xAP on a daily basis. It just makes the struggle that much more difficult.
Here here... even though xAP and I do live in the same small town and run in the same circles, for eight weeks now, we've not run into each other once.
Keepswimming,
I too have the similar story--my Ap was my college boyfriend 20 years ago and resurfaced long enough for us to consummate a crazy 2 year affair. Thankfully, he lives 3 states away now because I don't trust *myself* in that regard. Interesting how you said the part about having gone 20 years without each other--my xAP came sniffing 10 years ago and I showed no interest--fast forward to the 18 year mark and I gave in. What a mistake.
For those that are LC and have to see the AP on occasion, my heart goes out to you for your incredible strength! Dee, you said it--it certainly gives us long-distance people a reason to keep on our toes! But dang it, the heart gets involved and it doesn't matter if it is 1 mile or 1,000 miles! ):
LL
I live a mile from my xAP, and see him almost daily. We work and go to school together. I had to lean back in my chair yesterday, at a lecture, so that I couldn't smell 'him'. One day I know that the smell of him will repel me, but now it's still intoxicating. And not in any good sense of that word. It's hard. No doubt about it. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough. I want to be over him bad enough to risk tipping over in my chair.
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou