Terrible but true....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Terrible but true....
4
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:08pm
So I know this is gonna sound really, really, really bad but...

I need to ask the question.

I will begin by saying that I really am trying to get past this A and hold true to the NC. I have to admit that I sometimes hate it BUT I know it has to be done....ok, get to the point Dipss right?

Well here is my question...yikes!!

After you end the A, and you are intimate with your H, do you ever think about xMM/OM?

Terrible but true...I find myself doing that way to often...how do I control that????!!!!!

xo!

Dipss

ps - on a positive note...i found myself on Friday trying to remember if my NC was 3 weeks or 4 weeks and for the life of me i couldnt remember. i thought that was pretty good, no? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:18pm
Sure. I think many people fantasize about someone else...movie star, cute guy at the office...even if they don't have an A. I guess I don't see the real harm in it. I figure as time goes on, it will occur to me less and less frequently.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 3:24pm
dipss -

I think this is completely normal!

For me, it faded. It's been 10 weeks (tomorrow) since I ended it

and I am back to my old fantasies - I won't tell ya what they are,

but they are pre-XMM! ; )

Also, I read an article that said if this goes on LONG after the A has ended,

the recommended advice was to spice up your sex life with H - introduce

something new.

By the way I do this all the time and think everyone should!!

wrkng

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:28pm
Dipps

Yep

It will end on its own but if you make an effort to reject the thoughtas soon as the happen everytime you can speed things up.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:23pm
I did not think about XMM during sex with my H at any time during the A -- that does seem strange to me now that I think about it...Sometimes just before sex a thought of him crossed my mind, but for some reason I was focused on my H and my "imaginary fantasies," not my XMM.

Meg