Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Thank you!
5
Tue, 01-08-2013 - 11:32pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
In reply to: buddy2011
Sun, 01-13-2013 - 10:22pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2013
In reply to: gecko55
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 2:51pm

I just started posting a little over a week ago, and I read the new post every day.  I have been NC since the very first post- and the responses I got helped me start- the ones since, and some of the historical perspective have kept me NC- hard as it is.  I love this post because it resonates with exactly how I feel.  I sturggle with a feeling of numbness, not belonging, feeling lost and disconnected- and feeling as if just on the edge of all that is a fragile peace I can hold on to- at least it is honest ven if it is painful.  I am on a business trip this week- back in the place we spent so much time together- I can barely concentrate on what I need to do- I can't wait to get home to what feels like a "safer" place.  The last time we talked was a month ago today- a few emails, a few texts- and I just stopped.  It feels done and unfinished at the same time- but I am working through that- and it is easier because of all of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
In reply to: buddy2011
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 11:05am
Buddy, it is good to see you. I have not actually been around all that much since the changeover. I tried to reply to you last night from home, on my phone, and could not. Blech! You have absolutely helped many people in your time here, everyone has! The pain of the newbies remind me that I NEVER want to go back there, my tweener and super-tweener cohorts helped me tremendously, including you. And the vets saved me many times. We are all an important part of the board. Acceptance is indeed the hardest thing for me too. xAP often to used to say "it is what it is", which for both us seemed to be, by that point, code for "frustrating and agonizing, and guilt-inducing, and sorrowful" becasue we both hated what we were doing but also hated the idea of not being in each others lives any more, but could not ever seem to strike the right balance "as friends" (maybe no one can, I suspect). I am getting closer to accepting that what was once a wonderful friendship is over forever because of a bad choice he and I both made. "Too bad, so sad" is another way I say it to myself, when I need to give myself a kick in the pants. I won't die. There are worse things that could happen. Much. At the same time, I think we do have to be gentle with ourselves, because we *did* lose something important to us. Much love to you Rain
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
In reply to: buddy2011
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 8:51am

I think we all accept things at a different pace. We grasp things differently as is typical of us all being different.

We would all like to rush our healing but............it just doesn't work that way.

Commitment is a consistent thread that we all have to have, but we all handle it differently.

From your latest posts, it looks like you are doing ok, and handling things well. 

We all share the same goals, we want it done, we want to be healed, NOW.  It just doesn't work that way unfortunately.

Glad to see you still come here occasionally and I think that is one of the things that helps us the most. Getting more of a wide view of the problems that aren't so different for all of us, adopting change into our lives and moving on to a new and hopefully better life.

Hang in there, keep coming and posting.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: buddy2011
Wed, 01-09-2013 - 8:41am

I know!  All those willing to stick around and pay it forward is really phenomenal.

We rock!!!

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board