thankful

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
thankful
8
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:37am

I'm having a real moment of thankfulness right now and I wanted to share it with the board. I see so many newbies in the throws of their early ending struggle and it pangs me to read of their pain, however, it's also an opportunity to be _immensely_ grateful that I'm not in that place any longer. I own the support of this board so much -- my sanity, my sense of self, my hopefulness.... all of it I'm sure would still be eluding me had I not found EAS.

Today, my DD starts kindergarten. It's a huge day... for ME. ha. Always about Me! I'm so gosh-darn grateful that I am IN THE MOMENT for this day. I can remember so clearly how I was absent in my RL before - how I was distracted or too stressed to appreciate my children, my H, myself. but, not now. I am 100% HERE and thank God.

I would not trade the gut wrenching pain, depression, and agony of the ending process for all the money in the world - because it got me here. Here, where I am... in my RL and no longer trading the joys of it for the lies of the A.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the newbies and tweeners who walked with me, and to the Vets and Iddy for the never-ending encouragement and wisdom. You saved my life.

with deepest love and respect,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 10:10am

Dee,

Can I jump on your bandwagon of thankfulness and second it? I too feel that it was worth the pain I went through to get my life back for me, my H and my kids. I was very lucky to have gotten out of the A (twice) with xMM with my life in tact with only emotional scarring on me, but that is okay. I need those scars to heal.

I'm eternally grateful to everyone who posted to my messages since June 17. Each and everyone of the members on EAS contributed to the better place in my life now.

Thank you to all for helping me find my way back home.MovingON

PS. How exciting your DD is starting Kindergarten today! Take many photos and store lots of memories in your heart!






Edited 9/13/2010 10:14 am ET by movingon50

MovingON

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 10:20am

Dear Dee et al.

I too am so grateful for the love and support found on this board: it saved my life too.

This time last year I wasn't present for anything with my children. The whole year, beginning in Sept. was filled with incredible drama as I repeatedly tried to end my affair while coping with the (unwanted) separation from my H. A good day was when I managed to get out of bed.

I just got in the door from dropping my two youngest at an amazing outdoor hiking program (they are homeschooled) ... and I was totally 'there': taking pictures and introducing myself to the other parents and children I hadn't bothered to meet last year. I felt like I was 'back' - only a better me. A Me that recognized how precious my real life is.

I am so thankful to each and every one of you who took take the time to post here, for showing me a way out when I was so utterly lost, and for never apologizing or backing down from the ugly truth.

"I rather the ugly truth, than a beautiful lie"

That's what EAS is - no ribbons or bows, just the priceless gift of a way back 'home'.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:13pm

Great post Dee.



I am jumping on the bandwagon too. Last year at this time, I was so out of touch with reality. I was in Vegas with my H and our friends to celebrate my 30th birthday and my thoughts were consumed with xap. I was hoping that the vacation would bring my H and I closer together, but I never gave it that chance. I kept sneaking away to email or text him and found fault in everything my H did. It was pathetic. I was so caught up... and then the months and months that followed

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 1:52pm

I'm not nearly as far out as some of you here (on the board and in this thread), but I am very thankful regardless for this board; for all of the stories (both good and bad) and the hope, inspiration and source of learning that they give and 'are'; for TU who is a constant source of off-board support and understanding. I've got some tough-stuff to slog through, I'm sure, but this board and how it (and all the ladies and gents here) have helped me in an active way, but perhaps more importantly in a more passive/non-direct way by helping show me when push comes to shove, just what I (and all of us here) are made of. That I can and will move past it and onto better things, that I already am onto better things. I'm in a much different and better place/space than I was last year at this time.

"There are still times when I have downs and I struggle, but the struggle now has more to do with figuring myself out and being the right mate for my husband"

This is it - I still struggle, but it's a struggle about 'me', figuring out who I am, what I want out of life and eventually out of a real relationship (since I'm S, not M). This is the kind of struggle that is productive and 'worth something', so I suppose in that sense, I'm thankful for the struggle because it will help take me miles beyond the A.

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

Walk n' Block. Total NC 08-13-10

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 4:08pm

Ahhaa!!!



Love positive reflective posts!



You’re little one starting Kindergarten so parallels how you are starting another leg of your journey! Bet you cannot wait to hear how her first day went!



I just posted on Jane’s thread how you and I are in the Winnie and heading to Iddy’s house after picking up NC from the airport. So ahem…guess we detoured a little so you could take your lil one to Kindergarten this morning.



What I’m most thankful for is that anyone takes times to read my long winded posts and that most of the time they are received well by the reader(s). Also I’m thankful for a forum where I can share what I’ve learned from my journey in hopes it will help others.



Much love and big hugs,



E1



Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 4:57pm

I too will join you, Dee, to thank everyone on this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 8:00pm

Crikey mate .....Someone pass the bog roll..........might need to dry my eyes (from laughing E1)..edited to add... i think i jumped posts..that referred to E1 and Dee picking me up from the airport......



This board IS an

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
In reply to: deeulta
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 8:45am

I'll say thanks too- even though I just stepped off the runaway train and Im still laying in the puddle I fell in.



But my thanks is because i actually tried to make an IC appointment today (to start this therapy stuff) but cant get an appointment for weeks.



But I have EAS in the mean time- thank bloody God!!!!



Iggy (face down in the puddle, blowing bubbles of muddy gratitude)

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do